Charity and the Apostles 1 Corinthians 11-16

1 Corinthians 11-16

In the past few months I have taken the challenge to read and reread the words of our modern day Apostles.  For a few of the prized quotes I used some of my photos to create image meme’s that help to share the deep emotion their words bring.

My quest began with the April 2015 General Conference addresses. As I pondered the varied topics and realized that not one of these men are assigned the topic of their talks but rather speak from their own hearts, my love for these men began to grow. For the first time I saw them as men whose lives have not been without tribulation but rather have been given in service, sacrifice and as examples to the rest of us as how to live in this dispensation of gospel time, how to live midst the trial and difficulties we must all face. 

 

The Apostle Paul who lived almost two thousand years ago said it best,

            

 “ Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.”

These men have chosen to be followers of Christ. Their actions, their service, their leadership of family, and their lives of integrity reflect their high moral characters and the true desires of their hearts.  While many of the topics of their talks are universally pertinent, a few could not be found in the indexes of our sacred scripture. Topics such as social media or “The Proclamation on the Family” are distinct to our social time.   As I read their words, my hope returned and I saw that if they could learn to serve our Savior through all of their trials then I could, in this time and place, do the same. While I revere the testimony of the many ancient prophets and their words will forever ring true, the words of the modern day prophets give needed direction for the choices we face in our day and time.

When Paul spoke to the Corinthians, it was if he was speaking at a General Conference. He spoke on the topics that were pertinent to the church during his time. He spoke of the need to preserve marriage (11:3-15), of the accepted length of a woman's hair, reverencing the sacrament ( 11:20-30), of Spiritual gifts (12-14) and of the resurrection.

This past weekend we had the privilege of visiting our daughter’s congregation where she, as the Sunday School Teacher, taught a beautiful lesson. She grabbed the class’s attention by asking what topics of discussion had been covered at the last General Conference of the church and comparing Paul's teachings in Corinthians to a General Conference.  As the class responded I pondered all of the topics I had studied. The list was long and varied.

And I began to marvel at how the Lord in his infinite wisdom has drawn on the diversity of the church to feed and reach those members who seek his love. I thought if only the Prophet had spoken, we would have only learned about temples and the priesthood. No doubt these are pertinent subjects but how many more souls were lifted up by being able to hear about the Young Adults, or integrity, or Elder Teixeira’s talk on  "Seeking the Lord" amidst the myriads of social media distractions. I am always amazed at how at least one or two talks seem to be directed at my life and serve to answer to the  difficulties I am facing.

My daughter’s genuine smile is large and contagious. As she led our class through the many lessons of Paul she kept reminding us of the upcoming October conference and how once again we will have the privilege of hearing wise words of our Apostles meant for our day. As she taught I felt her joy for the gospel and I felt gratitude for the grace of God that we have such a church which gives us not only instruction for our day, but opportunities for growth and learning. 

I truly felt God’s charity for me and my family. As I enjoyed the lengthy class discussion on charity and the many other gifts of the spirit, I found a renewal of my faith to seek charity within myself and share it with others in my family and social circles.

Paul’s words on charity remind us that of all the gifts this is the most prized. Why?

It has to do with how charity changes both the giver and the receiver. While the gift of tongues bridges cultural communication gaps, it cannot change hearts the way charity can. And while some are given to wisdom and others knowledge, miracles, or prophecy all of these call attention to the bearer of the gift, but charity alone gives back what it receives and bonds the giver to the receiver. Still, all gifts, like all parts of the body are needed.

I love to think about how charity brings us closer to God, for we truly cannot have charity without having a relationship with God. We need God’s love to help us suffer long, to be kind, especially in difficult or negative relationships, to find contentment in our possessions and social situations, to not puff ourselves up. Charity teaches us to be humble and to be strong in the midst of provocation. It teaches us to think only good, even when evil is present. We may recognize the evil, but we choose to think only good.

Charity rejoices in truth and through the power of he atonement learns to bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things.

Paul goes on to say that prophecies and tongues, and knowledge may cease but charity never faileth. 

And that is when I realized that from the Apostles at General Conference I found charity. Charity for my weakness for they have had to live through their own. Charity for my lack of knowledge for I am still a toddler in the gospel. Charity for my wisdom for I err in my judgment often. Charity is the gift that the Lord Jesus Christ gives us when he instructs and nurtures us. 

 

Now as we begin to prepare for yet another conference of topics that come from the heart of these chosen men of God, I will look for answers to my prayers that these men will speak to our day yet again. And that they will borrow from the wisdom of the ages and the experience of this day and age and give me the guidance to help me follow them, even as they follow Christ.

Shine in the darkness.. Ether 6:30

And thus the Lord caused stones to shine in darkness,
to give light unto men, women, and children, Ether 6:3

All the world is a mirror and we reflect ourselves upon it.

I believe our lives reflect back what we take in. When we sow goodness we reflect goodness. Whatever we sow, we reap. Our hearts reflect what we take in and what we cultivate.

How do we learn to let the Lord touch our lives and then reflect his light on to others? How do we learn to shine like the stones that Ether used to cross the darkness of the sea?

What we choose to listen to and to view affects us. People will say that it does not matter but it does.
What we allow into our mind becomes a part of us - for good or bad. It becomes us and when we go out into the world, we reflect our views back onto those we interact with.

Health

When I was growing up there was a big controversy about our health and what we ate. My grandfather, who lived to be 98 3/4 years old, was very adamant that diet was key to health and he not only watched what and how much he ate but also believed in the power of exercise and vitamins. He understood the workings of the body. He understood that what we put into our body affected the performance of not only our bodies but our mind and ultimately our spirit.

Naysayers at the time (and there were many) did not believe that diet would affect one's heath to such a great degree but that we were slaves to our DNA programming. So we were born to be heavy or slow or fast or whatever. My question is where does our choice figure in? Most criticizers ignore the power of choice in our lives knowing full well that the advertisers depend on their ability to sway our choice and direct us toward their money making schemes.

Today of course we've learned how cigarettes, with undeniable certainty, cause cancer, as does chewing tobacco. And we've learned that certain foods laden with sugars and heavy on starches affect our hormones and metabolism leading to early onset of preventable disease.  Of course this is mostly all relative to our age and activity level. The point is that food affects our bodies, our moods, our health and our lifestyles. But the producers of processed foods and drugs don't want us to know this. They want us to continue to buy all that they sell. They want us to give up our power to choose what is good for our bodies and because of the addictive nature of many products, we do.

Mind

 Our minds are affected by the content we allow in - not too unlike how our bodies are affected by the  food we eat. What we put in reflects back on the world we live in. But if we live in a virtual world where real emotions do not affect real people then what we say and participate in does not matter. Or does it? Where we go on-line is separate from our life off-line.  Or is it?

When we choose activities and material that does not value the affect upon our hearts and our minds we loose our ability to choose. There are activities and materials that purposefully want us to give up our power to choose what is good for our bodies and our minds, and because of the addictive nature of these activities, we do.

A light in the darkness

 What if we choose to digest good material?  to listen to good music and good words and strong truths? And beauty? Do we also loose choice? No because good choice reflects light. Just like when the brother of Jared asked the Lord to touch his stones. He asked for a source of goodness so that he would have a source of goodness to bring light and the reflection of goodness into his darkened world. Goodness brings light to the darkness of the world.

We too can seek for and ask the Lord to touch our heart with goodness that will in turn reflect goodness upon our days. We too can use the light of the Lord's stones to help us through our days where darkness prevails.

A real world
The real world is where we use all of our senses: hearing, touch, smell, taste, vision, emotion, and so many other wonderful senses that help us feel alive and warm and full of unmeasured joy. Beauty can be cultivated and reflected back onto those that we love and those that we interact in the real world.

And what a joy it is to be around, or to listen to those that cultivate the beauties of this world. What a joy it is to understand that we can surround ourselves with the reflections of others who also cultivate all that is good and joyful. To see the light of their stones that the Lord has touched for them and to share in their goodness of ideas, of service, of music, of art, of friendship, of kind words, etc.

I like the idea that our lives are reflections of our hearts desire. And I love the idea that if I ask the Lord to touch my heart so that I might have light He will. And I love that when I look into the world I can use the light of the stones and see the goodness and love reflected back at me.

Endure to the End Jacob 7, Enos and 4th Nephi 1-22

Last night while walking I witnessed a display of mother nature's glory, an explosion of light. Brilliant flashes streaked the sky and at times was so bright that it lit my path. It filled me with wonder.

Above me lines and patterns of light emerged on the sky's dark palette. I marveled.

This display of nature reminded me of the patterns that God has placed in each of his creations.
The sun, the moon, the seasons, the weather, the plants - all of God's creations were created by a pattern of design that not only determines its beauty and shape, but also sets its purpose and time.  I thought how these patterns give us reassurance. We know that each day the sun will rise as a ball of fire in the east. And each month the moon will rise big and round and glorious. We know the birds will migrate each fall and again in the spring. God has instilled in each of his creations a pattern to live by- a pattern to ensure their existence on this planet.

But what about man? What pattern did he instill in us to ensure our survival? To help us endure our journey here?

Unlike God's other creations, man was given a higher degree of intelligence to choose his mortality- his morality -his own path. Unlike the migratory Robin who innately sings songs of gratitude, God has given man the agency to learn for himself of eternal joy.

Last night, in our class we read the stories of Jacob and Sheram, and Jacob's son Enos, and the people of 4th Nephi. We read and discussed how they took a pattern of life that God has given all men and put it to the test and found the joy and peace that comes through faith and repentance - God's pattern of life. We talked about how their lives exemplified a pattern of enduring to the end.

What is God's pattern for man? And why didn't God instill in us a programmed life - like he did the Goose, who as I write is flying overhead honking and squawking on his way? to where?

Man- like all of nature- can follow a path that will lead us to eternal life. For man however, it involves conscious choice. The ability to discern between good and evil. It involves faith not only in nature but first in the supreme creator Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism and following the Holy Ghost.

As we studied the lives of Jacob and his son Enos we found adjectives that described what they did to discover the peace the gospel brings. When Sheram challenged Jacob's testimony, Jacob recounted his "many revelations," his ministering angels, the many things that he had witnessed, and how the voice of Lord had instructed and comforted him. Because of all these things, Jacob could not be shaken.  We considered Enos and his mighty prayer that released him from his guilt, and how the people of 4th Nephi were able to live in harmony for 200 years before time and pride erased the living memories of their experiences with the Savior Jesus Christ.

What I found interesting is that these men were given experiences that impressed upon their minds and their souls the eternal nature and love of the Savior Jesus Christ. The desires of their heart were to know of a truth that would guide them to peace. Their lives were not without danger, trial or discomfort.  Peace does not mean you will not have trial. True peace comes when while in the midst of trial you have the power of faith in a true and living Savior who will wind your sails and calm your soul.

God has sent us many heralds of peace. Each day is a miracle of his love. Each day reminds us that he has given all of his creations a pattern to live by. This pattern is sure; it is eternal; it is beautiful.

I believe that it is why - when I see the night sky display its artistic brush or experience the sunrise or hear the bird song - I am reminded that God's love for all his creations is sure and steady. But for man... we must choose.

And I am grateful for the lives of men like Jacob and Enos and the disciples of Christ who witnessed the resurrected Christ and showed by their lives that enduring to the end is a real possibility. It is not only a possibility it is what God wants for us. It is his pattern for our lives. It is what he promises in 2 Nephi 31:20:

20  Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.    2 Nephi 31:20

Even though we don't have a programmed migratory path we do have the law and the light of Christ for which we are promised eternal life if we will but endure. But for us we must look, we must endure, and then shall we know eternal life.

Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life.
3 Nephi 15:-1-9

2 Nephi 21: 13-32 Self-Mastery, Finding Unity

2 Nephi 21: 13-32   Self Empowerment and finding unity in all things

Once while visiting my mother's home, Mom invited me to sit and talk for a bit.  Her tone was somber but cool; direct but polite; strong but tender.  I was already married and with two small children so when she extended the invitation, I wondered what it could possibly concern:  health, legal issues, family?  But my mother, out of love for my young family and me, wanted to discuss something of greater concern – the power of drug and alcohol addiction.

As a Psych Nurse and Director of the Drug and Alcohol Unit at our local hospital she was all to aware of the dangers of drug and alcohol. She wanted to make sure I shared in her knowledge. She had both primary and secondary experience of how alcohol and drugs and a myriad of other addictions - by undermining the strength of unity and community- ruin lives and families.  In her profession she had helped de-tox patients from every corner of society.  She shared with me how alcoholism affects all social economic levels, destroys brain cells, lowers birth weights, robs one of nutrition and becomes an unquenchable thirst that destroys our God given power to choose. 

addictions rob us of choice

I respectfully  sat and I listened. I was touched by her sincerity, her determination to speak her mind, and her depth of emotion. As she shared how addictions are often unintentional inheritances, I could feel her love and concern for me.   I did not feel bothered by her desire to instill limits upon me - but rather, I felt her love for me.  She made me promise that I would never drink alcohol, under any circumstance.  I would be allowed to use her as an excuse if ever I felt hounded. I promised and then assured her that her fears were unfounded. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints I faithfully practiced the spiritual and dietary law known as the “Word of Wisdom.”

The recognition of God's love brings us self-mastery. 

My declaration of faith did not comfort her. Her life experience had taught her that religious belief, while good, might not be enough to keep me safe.  Again she asked me to promise. So I nodded my head in assurance. Little did I know that the day would indeed come when faith-based belief would not deter social and business associates.  But when told of my respect for and promise to my mother they ceded their purpose and left me to my choice. The sincere love of a parent, a mother, can be a strong power in our lives. 

As I pondered Lehi's words, I realized that his talk with his sons, like my mother's to me, was meant to empower. My mother’s words left with a strong sense of self. And even more important, I gained the gift of family unity. I knew that if I would make wise choices, my mother’s strength would always be with me. If ever I felt alone or lost the power to choose, I had only to remember her experience to help me regain perspective. 

Addictions lead us into cycles that become hard to break

Lehi recognized that his sons actions were caught within a rut; they were not in control of their lives, their emotions, their goals or desires. He implores them to "awake"(v13) and "shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound." He wants them to "arise from the dust" and come forth out of their-self inflicted "obscurity.(v.23)"

Lehi's plea helped me to recognize that life is filled with varied and diverse powers that want to destroy our power to choose.  Lehi wanted his sons to discard the powers that bind them and recognize how the “power of God” gives us our true freedom.

When we engage the powers of God we find self. God's love is a selfless gift. In contrast, when we allow any of these other powers to control us, we unwittingly find ourselves surrounded by "the sleep of hell" or caught by the "awful chains" (v.13) that bind. A few of these might be: anger, jealousy, hardened hearts, bad habits, the need for “power over others”(v.25), alcohol, drugs, the need to win or be right etc.

Lehi understood that the powers of God bring truth(v.26) unity and self mastery(v. 15,20).  For when we are in control of our lives, we have the power of choice. Once free to make choice we are then able to choose unity. Once "united in all things" we are able to find strength beyond our own, and a safety that comes from “the arms of his love.” (v.15)

Addictions weaken our resolve to self motivate

Having tasted of the Lord's "glory", Lehi only wanted his sons to have this joy.  Lehi understood the difference between the powers that breed faith in our lives and the powers that make us weak.  As a power, faith in God's love (v.15) leads us to "the truth" (v.26) self expression(v.23), self realization(v.21), and above all self-empowerment (v.21). As a power, addictions weaken our resolve, our desires, and our ability to self motivate.  In an effort to inspire his sons Lehi expounded where weaknesses lead:

·       to a "deep sleep" (v. 13)

·       to "the sleep of hell" (v.13) 

·       to be "bound by chains"(v. 13)

·       "the eternal gulf of misery and woe."(v.14)

·        to become blind to the "statutes and judgments of the Lord"(v.16)

·       to bitterness and hard heartedness( v. 17)

·       cursing and destruction (v.18) 

·       obscurity (v. 23)

·       rebelliousness (v 24) 

·       false accusations (v 25)

·       a denial of the power of the Spirit of God

Confucious says: He who contains himself goes seldom wrong

In contrast, Lehi implores his sons to remember the goodness that comes from self mastery.  He wants them to "be men", "be determined in one mind," "be determined in one heart," and "be united in all things" (v 21).  He wants them to be "righteous" (v 19) and enjoy the fruits of "prosperity" (v 21). He wants them to "remember"(v.12), hearken (v.12), "hear" (v.14), and "keep"(v.20) the commandments of God. Ill-bred obsessions keep us from remembering; they keep us from hearing, they teach us to let go of all that is eternal and all that would help us find unity.

Lehi spoke in verse 27 of the "power of God" within his younger son Nephi. Nephi, unlike his embittered elder brothers had chosen to exercise the power of belief, the power of faith, the power of righteousness, the power of truth, the power of the word of God,  the power of  "eternal welfare" and even the power of "the glory of God." Because of his choice to act in such a manner he retained the power of self-mastery, discernment, and decision making in critical situations: i.e. the saving of the ship, the loss of the bow, the finding of food, the direction of travel(1Nephi). 

My mother's love can be likened unto the love Lehi had for his sons. He implored them to arise from the dust. My mother implored me to make and keep a promise. Like my mother, Lehi shares his experience and seeks to help his sons understand he only wants for them to know "joy" (v 21). But before they can know this joy they must find within themselves the power of choice and take back the power that their unbridled passions had stolen from them. 

In her experience as a nurse, Mom had seen how unchecked habits can destroy our ability to discern life truths. And she saw many of her patients reclaim their love of self and find joy. Lehi's mastery of life powers had led him to state that "the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love." (v15) I understand now how God's love can not only empower us but can unite us. The power of self-love when combined with love of family creates a mighty force for good in our lives. 

Unity is a blessing that comes to those that seek self mastery.  In order for unity to exist each individual must exercise their own strength. They must "keep" within their heart a desire to serve, to love, to reach out and include others. They must seek the powers that strengthen. No one can force unity upon another. Unity comes first from self mastery. 

Lehi wanted his sons to know that addictions and unbridled passions separate us. He wanted them to understand that in order for them to become "men' they needed to put their fears aside and exercise faith. He understood that self-mastery unites us, but only when we are free from the powers of habits that bind. He understood that faith in a loving, all powerful, and selfless God brings the best kind of power into our life, the power of eternal joy. 

2 Nephi 1: 8-32 "Inheritance: the security of thy seed"

Inheritance: gifts that pass from one generation to another

Christine Conkey reading the Beatitudes from the Bible 

In the early 1990's when I would visit my grandmother Christine at her Michigan farmhouse she would give me small nicknacks from her kitchen. I have a small tan and white cream cow, a gold trimmed 50th anniversary cup, and a few of her favorite recipes.  Well into her eighties she realized that the time for collecting life's tangible things had passed and she began to distribute them as gifts to her grandchildren.  Likewise, my grandfather Hal gave me a few of his smaller art prints and had me sign my name to the back of one of his larger pieces, to be given to me after his passing. These small tributes were but a small part of my Conkey Family inheritance. As I consider these heirlooms in my life, I realize that the greatest gifts I have receive from my grandparents are not tangible things.  I have found my greatest inheritance in their words, their love for family, their way of life and their faith in one another and God. 

Inheritance has long been associated with the "passing on of properties, titles, debts, rights, and obligations upon the death an individual." (m-w.com) Inheritance is meant to help the next generation obtain the necessary security to move forward with their life. For most of the world this security is wrapped around monetary wealth: i.e land and property, art, furniture, keepsakes. But as I read and reread the first chapter of 2 Nephi and considered what was it that Lehi wanted to convey, I began to see his vision of a worthy inheritance to his children. 

Lehi was mindful of his imminent death. He says, "a few more days and I will go the way of all the earth" (v14) He is preoccupied with what gift he will give them. And before he begins into this he recounts the great gifts that the Lord has bestowed on his family: history(v 1), mercies(v 2), warnings (v 3) and even the physical land of promise (v 3). And as if to help soften the blow of what he cannot give them he reminds them of how all of the wealth and land and social position which they had obtained in Jerusalem was gone. (v 4) He reminds them of how fleeting these "gifts" are and he begins to teach them and remind them of a greater gift, the gift of eternal life itself.  

Hal Conkey singing his rendition of "How Great Thou Art" 

My own grandparents gave me a greater gift. As I watch my grandfather sing his favorite song, "How Great Thou Art," or see my grandmother reading "The Beatitudes"I am reminded of my greatest Conkey Family gifts of inheritance: self expression, good books, a love of learning, a desire to do good,  love for one another, a love of poetry, and above all their faith in a God capable of the love, the strength, the vision, and insight to give a  security which material possessions could not bring.

Lehi begins in verse 5 to reflect on the great gift of the promised land the Lord had given them through bringing them here. Here in this new land they would not face captivity from other nations, they would not even  have to worry about the other nations knowing about their existence. They would not have to worry about the land being nutritionally depleted but in stead it would help them to "prosper"(v9). In deed if they would keep their desires and focus on their faith  they were assured prosperity and protection.

I remember my grandmother speaking of Scotland (she was 100% Scottish) like she had been raised there. Only 2 generations from it's shore, her paternal grandparents and her maternal g grandparents had all been born in Scotland. The stories she told reverberated with love for a distant culture but mostly for respect for the blessings the new Canadian land had brought to her family. Here in this new land the Conkey's were free from political turmoil, religious constraints, and farming blights.  The 1848 potato famine hit Scotland as well. In addition the 1840's saw many highlanders evicted and forced into immigration. I remember my grandmother singing songs of the highlands and recalling her grandfathers love of the Argyle Highlands. She had such a happy and merry voice that carried me with her across the pond to where my fathers plowed and my mothers made fire.

Lehi continues to recount the outcome of what could happen if his posterity would ever forget the mercies of the Lord in their life. What he wants is for them to remember both the "statutes and judgments" (v 16) of the Lord. Like any good organization Lehi's family understood the basis of rules and consequences. His discourse is merely trying to remind his children that the Lord's goodness comes to those who remember his statutes and give respect to his judgments. He wants his children to keep their prosperity in perspective with what is true prosperity and from where all goodness comes. 

My grandmother always looked for the good. I remember a few conversations with her where she might have been overcome with worry for struggling family members, but she always remembered the good their spirits brought to the family. And she managed to keep my grandfather's high ideas down to earth and help him realize the most important things in life revolved around family. He loved to write and always wanted to write the next great novel, but family commitments, financial obligations, and the tedium of day to day life kept him grounded. In the end, the greatest story he ever wrote was upon the hearts of his children and grandchildren. It was the love story that he and my grandmother shared as they worked together to "secure their seed" with the goodness of their inheritance.

The word "inheritance" can be found 185 times in the Old Testament.  It is also found  58 times in the Book of Mormon. In my recent readings of Abraham's story of how God gave him the blessing of an eternal inheritance I was impressed with his desire to teach the next generation the necessary truths needed for eternal life. The fact that Isaac was not born to a young Sara was key. The fact that the Israelites wandered 40 years in the wilderness was key. The Lord wanted to preserve the goodness of his "inheritance", the belief that we are spiritual children of an eternal God. Lehi wants the same. My grandparents may not have understood the eternal nature of life as Lehi did, but they did believe in it and they wanted what all parents want for their offspring: goodness, happiness, and the tools to succeed.

Fiddle by Robert Shaw Guitar Linda Shaw 

Of all the tools they shared, I am reminded mostly of the mirth that my parents had for life.  In 1993 when these videos were taken grandmother was nearing her 90th near and grandfather was in his 94th year of life. And yet they were happy enough to dance around the living room and rejoice in their life. I hope that this is the legacy that I can leave my children.  An inheritance of goodness, of spiritual truth, of love, of joy, and mostly of the gift of the Holy Ghost that will help them discern between right and wrong as they navigate their own course in life. As they step out to dance their own steps around their own  living room.

Genesis 23: A burying place made sure

Recently while sitting on the beach, near the pilings of the pier, I per chance to witness a rather private affair. A grandmother and her grandchildren had gathered to disperse the ashes of her late husband. At first I did not understand what was unfolding before me. I was reading my book and wanting very much to give them their privacy I looked up only occasionally, but when the grandfather's ashes flew back into his grand daughters face, into her eyes, and mouth, their privacy was lost. For the Granddaughter laughed out loud and yelled... "I got the last hug." And then they were off, casually walking down the beach.

Abraham mourns the death of Sarah

This experience prompted me to think allot about how and where we bury our dead. Once they have passed on do we treat them as if they are gone forever from our lives? Or do we treat them in accordance to our belief in eternal life?  I thought about why an entire chapter was devoted to Sarah's burial place?  Why did Abraham insist on paying for the land on which he and Sarah would be interred?
I wondered how how we treat our dead affects our role in our  families life?  About how what we do in this life affects the communities of both the living and the dead. For the dead are in a season "wherein there can be no labor performed" (Alma 34:33) and they therefore become dependent upon the respect given to them by their living.







I discovered these  important truths

I. Integrity
This chapter is as much about Abraham's integrity toward his fellowman and God as it is about securing a burial place for Sarah. The children of Heth tried to bestow the gift of a sepulcher on Abraham. It was a subject given "in the audience of the people."

Ephron sells a cave to Abraham for Sara's burial 

• In the choice of they sepulchers bury thy dead (vs 6) 
•  Nay, the field I give I thee. (vs 11) 

 Even though Abraham thought of himself as a "stranger and a sojourner"(vs5) among the people of Hebron, they loved and admired Abraham and called him "a mighty prince."(vs 6) Abraham had opportunity to exercise his power to dominion. He could have had what he wanted and needed for free. No one would dismiss a man of his stature in his time of grief. But Abraham knew who he was and he knew the importance of integrity while conducting business, especially the business of eternal life.

Integrity is an eternal characteristic. Consider how Abraham's entire life focus within the book of Genesis is about eternal life. If he truly believes that he and Sarah are married for all of eternity then he what he does for her body in this life, will be recognized in the next life. He would have to answer not only to God but to Sarah.  Abraham understood how we practice integrity in this life affects not only the example we leave others, but also paves the way for our eternal happiness.


In addition, he understood the importance of securing a burial place for Sarah as a means of honoring her and her family, but also to "make sure" a burial place for himself. There could be no mistake after his death where he would be buried. By securing this transaction with the power of social custom, honor and integrity he was securing Sarah's and his resting place. For if he owned the land (and it was not a gift) no dispute could arise after his passing that would jeopardize his choice of where and by whom he would be buried. ( remember he had other wives)

The importance of this transaction is reiterated at the end of the chapter in verse 20, "and the field, and the cave that is therein, we made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a burying place by the sons of Heth."

II. Understanding Death and the Eternal Nature of Family 


Our culture fears death. When Abraham chose to purchase the land, and honor Sarah, he was teaching us about eternal life.  Death is one of life's facts. We are indeed born to live and eventually die. Our culture does not want us to speak of it, yet it comes as surely as the tree which falls in the forest. Just as the tree does not know his own time, we are not to know our time. But if we are prepared we should have not fear.

Could it be that Ephron and the other sons of Heth wanted to bestow this gift on Abraham out of pity? or out of their own fear of death? Or out of their desire to honor a man of his spiritual stature? It really does not matter why? What does matter is that Abraham did not cower to their persistence. He knew his death would come and he faced it by purchasing his burial place. His actions of honor while still grieving for Sarah speak of his belief in the eternal nature of family.

I remember when I was about thirty my Grandfather Conkey took me on a walk through the Presbyterian cemetery where his father and mother had been buried. I was enjoying myself  until I walked past the gravestones of my (living)Grandfather and Grandmother Conkey. They stood next to me as I read their names, their stone engravings and the year of their birth. The year of their death had been left to be inscribed upon their passing. I was mortified that they had chosen to think of death while they were yet alive.
Yet they had and they had done it with such grace and style that it set my own fears at rest. I believe this chapter does the same. It makes us consider how Abraham treated the subject of death. How he revered and honored Sarah by purchasing the cave of their burial and in doing so made us aware of his belief in the eternal nature of the family. If Abraham did not believe he would rise again, or see Sarah after this life, why was it so important to him to secure a safe burial place, a sure burial place, a place where he too could rest next to her.

In speaking to a few people about this chapter I learned that most have dismissed it. They have not considered the many truths that lie hidden here. Sarah died. Abraham buried her. Our lives can be easily summed up as easily as many of us want to sum up this chapter. We were born, we lived, we died. But life, eternal life, has much more to offer us. When we consider the eternal nature of man and we consider how Abraham's actions played to his belief in the eternal life, we understand the role that he played in teaching his culture about death, about eternal families, and about how we treat those we do business with, and those with whom we share eternal ties of love. When we understand these basic principals we understand just how important the role of respect for our dead, integrity and our belief in eternal life in the lives of the children of Israel play in setting an example for us to follow.

because thou did obey my voice Gen 22:1-18

Not too long after our son Robert was born, we moved to Tennessee. One morning while the children slept late, I took time and knelt in earnest prayer. I prayed for family, my husband, my children, my parents, and many of the dear friends I had made while living in Knoxville. As I lifted myself up off of my knees, I had the distinct impression that I needed to drop all of my plans for the day and drive over to visit Mary Anne. 


I gathered my children into the car and drove over to my friends home. I remember as I got out of the car I felt myself being wrapped with a love I had not known before. It filled me up, moved me to tears and as I walked toward the house it enveloped me.  I remember knocking on the door and having Mary Anne open the door with a look of astonishment upon her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked boldly but still trying to be polite. I stumbled upon my words, tried to hide my embarrassment and possible misjudgment and finally told her I didn't know, but I felt very impressed to come and ask if I could be of help. 


She then invited me in explained how only a few hours before she had been rear ended. Her car was severely damaged but mostly she was suffering from whiplash and was in great pain. She was angry and hurt because of the financial damage that the accident had caused. Her anger consumed her and  she had refused to pray. So why was I there? To help her pray? We enjoyed a long conversation and before I left I knelt in prayer with her. Her husband (not a believer) did not encourage prayer and she had been overwhelmed as she tried to handle everything on her own. When I first arrived, her anger seemed to be a living beast with which she had been struggling. By the time I left and we had time to talk about our faith and the power of prayer, she was much improved and the battle over anger had been won.

I remember this day not because of the pain and anger my dear friend went through, but because she had been cared for by a higher power. Her astonishment when she answered the door was not because I was there, but because of who my presence represented. I had come to serve her and help her remember God's love for her. She had been trying to handle life alone... until cornered she didn't know who to call or where to turn. God knew. God knew of her need. God had a plan to care for her. God had a plan to help her understand his love for her.  I had been listening and "because ... I did obey .."his" voice." I was able to act as a means to bring relief to my dear friend. As we sat and discussed how this all came about both of our testimonies grew. We realized that the sacrifice of both time and desire was needed for the miracle to occur. I had sacrificed my time and desire to do what I wanted. Mary Anne had sacrificed her need for independence and her will to be angry.

As I pondered what to write about I realized that the real thing that Abraham was being tested on was desire. What was his desire? To have his will over God's? or to have God's will over his own. It is a hard thing to master... this thing we call desire.

Abraham's faith was at a point where he was asked to give up the one thing that God knew he loved the most. He had spent most of his life praying for it: Gen as:2-3; 13: 14-16; 15:5; 17:2,4,7 all reveal the promises that God has made to Abraham concerning his progeny and eternal life. Genesis 22 is the climax of a great story of faith. Here he has all that he has wanted and God does not take it from him, but rather he asks Abraham to give it up. It is the ultimate test of loyalty, obedience and faith. It was meant to help Abraham understand the importance of not only loving and respecting the greater power of God, but also of giving all he had to it.

I could have brushed off my knees that morning and started one of my many projects. Or crossed off many of my "to-do" items that fill my errand list and  are always weighing on me, but I chose to listen.. I chose to follow the less traveled road ...I chose to obey...  and that made all the difference.

What if Abraham had not obeyed? What if he had become angry?  And what if the story had been played out before but we only got the condensed version? I don't mean to sacrilegious, but consider that Abraham might have had the prompting before and chose to ignore it until he was at a place in his faith that he had the strength to do what was required of him. The Lord teaches us "line upon line."I believe it's important for us to realize this possibility because the Bible Stories all come to us in a condensed version. We must consider the time schedule that were written in. We must realize that not all stories play out like a television sit com. We must also realize that this story in Genesis 22 represents the culmination of all of the faith trials that Abraham had endured. We surely did not receive all of them in the book of Genesis. As we surely can not know all of the times the Lord has spoken to him.

The Lord has blessings he will give us when we choose to obey the voice that answers our prayers. Part of the practice of prayer is learning to listen and then distinguish between the voice of our own will over that of the Lord. Consider that the angel of the Lord called a second time to Abraham that because he had not "withheld thy son, thine only son," he would fulfill all of the blessings that he had promised him.

My favorite line is "and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because thou hast obeyed my voice." 

In my days... in my life... I can't bless "all the nations" by being obedient to the Lord, but I can bless
all the children of my family, all my friends, all of my family.  I can help those I love  remember the importance of not only listening and hearing the Lord's voice (or that of his angels), but of obeying.
It takes courage to overcome fear and discipline to forge courage. It is my prayer that my children, my children's children and my extended network of family and friends will all benefit from the blessing of my choices in life. It is my prayer that like Abraham, I will choose to "obey" my Lord's voice and counsel of wisdom.

A poem for visiting teaching friendships. 

Sisterfriend

I didn’t know

When I met you

That my heart would break

And I would need you

To walk with me

Until I couldn’t think of

Anything more to say

But God knew

I didn’t know

When I learned of your

Troubles and your heartache

How to love you

So I just pedaled close behind

And learned to listen

The way you taught me to

And say yes

To your smile

And return your hugs

And soon I knew that

God knew.

I didn’t know

How to reach out

And find the joy in

Helping another like us

But you walked with me

Until we both found our own strength

And then we knew

God walked with us.

And now when I think

Of the first time

I saw you

On the back row

Or in the library, hiding

I remember how I

Didn’t know

I was broken

And how you

Had the time

And the love

For me

But God knew.

And for all I didn’t know

I’m glad  I did know

That God knew.

Linda Conkey Shaw Copyright 2-19-2012

Like Adam.... Finding the Joy of Family ..Genesis 1-5

Samuel Hall Conkey age 96

My grandfather Conkey wanted to live to be one hundred years old. He almost made it. He lived to be ninety-eight and eleven months. He vigilantly took vitamins, exercised, and stayed socially active. He bowled a 200 game when he was 86! Wow! He purely enjoyed life. I remember his gentle love as he walked with me in the raspberry garden and taught me how to pick mustard weed from the corn field. 

I don’t believe Grandfather feared death, but I know he respected it. I don’t think he thought much about eternal life for himself but he did wonder about his sister who died from diphtheria at a very young age. When he spoke of her some 60 years later, I could still hear his pain.

Why do we have a fascination with eternal life? Why do we fear death?

I’ve thought about these questions and about my grandfather as I’ve thought about our first father Adam. I’ve begun to notice how our culture tends to have an unhealthy fascination with living forever.  The last Pirates of the Caribbean film took us on a quest to find the legendary “Fountain of Youth.” Also, several popular songs croon over lost opportunity or death of loved ones.

It appears that sense Adam’s dismissal from the garden, we have all worried less about how we can live to find joy and more about what we can do to live forever? Fame, fortune, and power all have roots in wanting to be remembered forever, living forever, or even having the money to freeze our bodies so that we can be revived when scientist figure it out. It is as if we have once known a distant ancestor who once had the opportunity to live forever? We tend to want to blame him for our misery. 


Wouldn't life be better for everyone if we all lived with the focus of finding joy and worried less about how long we had to find it? My grandfather had almost 100 years to find and give joy. Adam had 930! Is it significant to consider the differences in the times or the way of life? It seems to me that the farther society pulls away from the  Garden of Eden and all that nature represents, the more distant and violent we become towards the earth and one another and the less we find joy. 

Adam walked with God in the Garden. He learned to find joy from walking with God in the garden and from learning how to talk with God after he was cast from the garden. In either case he had Eve by his side. The closest my grandfather came from walking with God was when he was with my grandmother. She was a saintly angel that kept us all on the right path. I have considered that Adam may have been alone in the garden for an untold amount of time before God gave him Eve. We are not given a time period. We just know that Eve came after Adam had named all of the animals and after he had learned how to "dress and keep" the garden. Did the Lord have Adam prepare the garden for Eve? So that he could share the joy with her? So that she could help him find the joyful path? 


My grandfather learned the joys that came from the farm and garden from his father and grandfather. In fact my great grandfather lived only across the yard from him in the original family homestead.  But who taught Adam how to dress and keep a garden? Is this what God taught Adam as he walked with him? I think that maybe yes. God walked with him and taught him of everything he had created for Adam. And did he have to learn everything by experience?  Did he have to fail a hundred times before he got it right? Is that why he had 930 years of life to our almost 100? Again I think yes. It is the pattern of learning. First we are instructed then we must practice what we are taught. But how are we to practice in an environment that does not allow for mistake? And where is the joy if there is nothing to gain?


While Adam was the "keeper of the garden", he was alone. He was told to not partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil. Then he was given Eve. Eve did not hear of this commandment from the Lord for she had not walked with God, nor had she been taught by God how to keep the garden. When Eve made her choice to partake, Adam was forced to make a decision. He could stay alone in the garden or join Eve and have family. Which would bring him the greatest joy? To be alone in an eternal state of bliss or to be with Eve searching for joy? 

Family would prove to be important in the search for joy as well as the setting and teaching of priorities. Family would bring companionship, aid, comfort, and help with problems. Family would bring joy and also pain as choices were made and lessons given. Family was given not as a consequence of Adam's choice but rather as a means for finding joy. With family Adam learned how to be forgiven and how to forgive. He learned how to handle the power that brought joy to others. With family Adam and Eve learned that having perfection (in the garden) was not as important as becoming perfect through family. And the only way to practice becoming perfect was to make mistakes with family. 


When I think of my grandfather's farm it was as near to perfection as I could ever imagine. It was my piece of heaven on earth. My first memory of pure joy came as I picked apples or watched the Aurora Boreallis light up the Michigan summer sky as I sat in my fathers lap. Grandfather was always peaceful and kind. I believe that Adam was a very docile man, filled with humility and the grace of God. I believe he lived close to nature, respecting the natural harmony that exists between man and animal. Adam came from the perfection of the Garden to help us all remember not how to perfectly keep a garden but how to let a garden perfectly keep us. 

Adam and Eve represent the first formed family. Together they learned how to gracefully make mistakes and keep on going. Together they learned to love their children but not let their children's choices get in between their own joy of  life. My grandfather's family represent my first formed family. Why? Because Grandfather Conkey is the first family connected to my own that I have personally known. Here outside of my own home, I saw life and love happen. I learned that my father learned from them. I loved them as they loved me. I began to understand what joy meant. 

Did Adam realize that even though he had left the garden and the glory of paradise that his choice gave choice to all family. Did my grandfather realize that all of his choice has given choice to all of my family. Because of my grandfather, I write. Because of my grandfather I love the earth. Because of Adam and my father, I love God. 

If Adam had not followed Eve would he have been able to stay in the garden, alone? If my grandfather had not loved, had not followed my grandmother would he have been able to stay in his garden alone?  He had the choice to stay in New York and follow a writing career, but rather than being alone, he chose the joy of family. I know my grandfather was a brilliant man, but as Adam learned, my grandfather learned what good is intelligence if you have no one to pass it on to? The joy of learning is not in holding onto what you know but in the passing of the torch. 

Adam felt the first shame, the first angst at Eve and yet he loved her and followed her and gave her family. Through Eve he found both faith and family. Through Adam Eve found a guide through life with the priesthood of God that would lead her back to Heavenly Father. Together that gave each other what the other lacked and found joy. 

Adam made a choice to partake of the fruit. He could have chosen to be alone. He could have chosen to let Eve suffer alone for her transgression. But he didn't. Why? Because he understood how important it was for the family of man to need one another, to be together, to help one another, and well. to be. Adam fell (he made his choice) so that we could have opportunity to make our choice. 

Death will come to us all. Adam’s choice secured this for us. But his choice also brought us the hope of eternal life through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

I understand now… The fountain of Youth is not a wishing well to be found and used to morph the time existence of our bodies. The fountain of Youth exists in each of us who learn to live our lives in such a manner as to give life and joy to others. When we study truth… when we understand the principles of truth, and put them into our lives they set us free to live an eternal life of happiness.

With each life that we lift, with each child of God that we serve, we drink of the fountain of youth.

My grandfather existed on this earth for 98 years and eleven months, but his love for family taught me to love myself and others. My fountain of youth comes with each new member of my family, each new birth, marriage, and yes, even death. For is death not also a new beginning, a portal into the heavens, where joy comes not fleeting, but lasts eternal. 

It is to my grandfather I owe the joy of writing, of deep thinking, and of faith. For because of him I have my grandmother who set the foundation of faith for our family. Because of him I have a heritage of garden life, a legacy of what it means to walk with God in the garden of life. 

He who freely shares all love that comes their way

Has found the fountain where youth has chosen to stay.


L.C. Shaw