We lived after the manner of happiness 2 Nephi 5

The Policeman writing his report and making arrest

The doorbell rang. It was mid-afternoon. Standing before us was a young man in search of his car?
He had lost it the night before. Could we help?

It seems he was unhappy about loosing it? His car. But was that all he was searching for? Surely he had the police report?  Why did he feel the need to ring our door? Was there more he wanted from us? Answers maybe to how his search for happiness the night before had ended badly?

Happiness, it seems is fleeting. Many believe it can be discovered in experiences, bought or like the "Tips for Jesus" benefactors, gifted. Very few understand that happiness is a state of being that must be cultivated, planned for and disciplined. Happiness is a discipline that must be refined within us.

So did we have answers for this young man of 19?

After crashing a raucous neighborhood party the night before, he had left for home, but had lost his way. While preparing for bed just before 1:30 I noticed him as he drove his car into our driveway.  I watched him from a window as he played on his phone and honked his horn, all the while acting very confused. Soon after I called the police he decided to drive his car around our truck and off the driveway into the trees behind our house. The police pursued him and soon all three vehicles needed to be towed out of our very muddy backyard.  This took until about 4:30 a.m.

The nice police officer who arrested him and his backseat buddy told us that they had been called to the party of nearly 500 for noise and many other sundry violations. Both of the boys were found with 2 empty Bacardi bottles and other substances of abuse. Both had no idea where they were or how they had gotten here, so when he showed up looking for the car, it was of little surprise to us that he had no memory of the previous nights activities. It appears we were not the only house he had inquired at.

The tow truck shows up 3:30 am

I thought of this young many and many like him who believe that happiness can be found in wild parties, drugs that falsely lift the emotions, or idleness. I thought of how this kind of happiness does not bring on a manner or a state of happiness that Nephi and other prophets spoke.

I noticed that Nephi sought happiness and because of the anger of his brethren he was unable to cultivate it. The Lord told him to flee and those that also believe in the "warnings and revelations of God" went with him. They went because they wanted a more lasting kind of happiness. Unlike the event or momentous happiness that most of the world seeks, Nephi and "the people of Nephi" sought a more lasting state of happiness, one that would bring prosperity and joy. (Alma 27:18)

Nephi as a student of the Old Testament would known of the Psalms or of Proverbs. He might have read:

Psalm 128: 2  For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
Psalm 146: 5  Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God:
Proverbs 13:3  Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Proverbs14: 21 He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.
Proverbs 16:20 He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.

Nephi recognized the hardness of his brothers hearts, "Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief." (Proverbs 28), and he realized that this would never bring happiness to him and those that worshipped God.

I realized that all men search for happiness. Even Nephi. I realized that few find it. And I realized that, like Nephi the greatest happiness has come when I have been obedient to the counsels and laws of God. (vs10). It is interesting to see how Nephi compares his lifestyle to that of his brethren. He describes how after leaving his brethren he and his people of Nephi did:

did sow seed, did reap again in abundance.  raise flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind. (vs 11)

build buildings, work in all manner of wood, and of iron, and of copper, and of brass, and of steel, and of gold, and of silver, and of precious ores (vs 15)

they did build a temple (vs 16)

industrious, and to labor with their hands. (vs 17)

priests and teachers (vs 26)

Nephi also understood the wisdom of the proverb that teaches the importance of vision: Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. (Proverbs 29:18) Using this vision given to him of the Lord, he not only brought the records with him (vs 12) but he began to write and keep records (vs 29, 30). Records give us vision into our past and help us plan for the future.

As I thought about my state of happiness I began to realize how important Nephi's recipe of happiness is to my life. For what he teaches brings harmony and peace and cultivates talent and skills necessary for mortality.

I am happiest when I am with my family, when I have a quiet understanding of God's vision for me. I am happiest when I adhere to a daily routine that ensures cleanliness, nutrition and exercise of both my body and spirit.

Happiness is a state that we need not seek, for it will find us when we learn to cultivate it. As a genuine feeling of peace it will attract others who also have a deeper understanding of the "warnings and revelations of God."

When I take time to consider the "manner of happiness" that I have experienced in my life it all revolves around my obedience to God's laws and plan of happiness for me. I have discovered this happiness in my patriarchal blessing, in temple worship and service, in family moments where we share one another's talents such as song, or book reading or sport, in scriptural reading where revelation brings me new insights, in service to others and community, in gaining skill or education, and in doing all things that are "pleasing unto God" (vs 32).

Time lapse shot of tow truck leaving

I have discovered that the greatest happiness comes in partaking of the fruit of God, for " it is "most sweet, above all that I have ever before tasted," (1 Nephi 8:10-11)



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Additional scriptures on happiness



 John 13:15-17
 Romans 14:22
 James 5:10-11
Mormon 9:14
Proverbs 28
Mosiah 2:41
Mormon 9:3
2 Nephi 9:43
Mosiah 2:41

2 Nephi 21: 13-32 Self-Mastery, Finding Unity

2 Nephi 21: 13-32   Self Empowerment and finding unity in all things

Once while visiting my mother's home, Mom invited me to sit and talk for a bit.  Her tone was somber but cool; direct but polite; strong but tender.  I was already married and with two small children so when she extended the invitation, I wondered what it could possibly concern:  health, legal issues, family?  But my mother, out of love for my young family and me, wanted to discuss something of greater concern – the power of drug and alcohol addiction.

As a Psych Nurse and Director of the Drug and Alcohol Unit at our local hospital she was all to aware of the dangers of drug and alcohol. She wanted to make sure I shared in her knowledge. She had both primary and secondary experience of how alcohol and drugs and a myriad of other addictions - by undermining the strength of unity and community- ruin lives and families.  In her profession she had helped de-tox patients from every corner of society.  She shared with me how alcoholism affects all social economic levels, destroys brain cells, lowers birth weights, robs one of nutrition and becomes an unquenchable thirst that destroys our God given power to choose. 

addictions rob us of choice

I respectfully  sat and I listened. I was touched by her sincerity, her determination to speak her mind, and her depth of emotion. As she shared how addictions are often unintentional inheritances, I could feel her love and concern for me.   I did not feel bothered by her desire to instill limits upon me - but rather, I felt her love for me.  She made me promise that I would never drink alcohol, under any circumstance.  I would be allowed to use her as an excuse if ever I felt hounded. I promised and then assured her that her fears were unfounded. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints I faithfully practiced the spiritual and dietary law known as the “Word of Wisdom.”

The recognition of God's love brings us self-mastery. 

My declaration of faith did not comfort her. Her life experience had taught her that religious belief, while good, might not be enough to keep me safe.  Again she asked me to promise. So I nodded my head in assurance. Little did I know that the day would indeed come when faith-based belief would not deter social and business associates.  But when told of my respect for and promise to my mother they ceded their purpose and left me to my choice. The sincere love of a parent, a mother, can be a strong power in our lives. 

As I pondered Lehi's words, I realized that his talk with his sons, like my mother's to me, was meant to empower. My mother’s words left with a strong sense of self. And even more important, I gained the gift of family unity. I knew that if I would make wise choices, my mother’s strength would always be with me. If ever I felt alone or lost the power to choose, I had only to remember her experience to help me regain perspective. 

Addictions lead us into cycles that become hard to break

Lehi recognized that his sons actions were caught within a rut; they were not in control of their lives, their emotions, their goals or desires. He implores them to "awake"(v13) and "shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound." He wants them to "arise from the dust" and come forth out of their-self inflicted "obscurity.(v.23)"

Lehi's plea helped me to recognize that life is filled with varied and diverse powers that want to destroy our power to choose.  Lehi wanted his sons to discard the powers that bind them and recognize how the “power of God” gives us our true freedom.

When we engage the powers of God we find self. God's love is a selfless gift. In contrast, when we allow any of these other powers to control us, we unwittingly find ourselves surrounded by "the sleep of hell" or caught by the "awful chains" (v.13) that bind. A few of these might be: anger, jealousy, hardened hearts, bad habits, the need for “power over others”(v.25), alcohol, drugs, the need to win or be right etc.

Lehi understood that the powers of God bring truth(v.26) unity and self mastery(v. 15,20).  For when we are in control of our lives, we have the power of choice. Once free to make choice we are then able to choose unity. Once "united in all things" we are able to find strength beyond our own, and a safety that comes from “the arms of his love.” (v.15)

Addictions weaken our resolve to self motivate

Having tasted of the Lord's "glory", Lehi only wanted his sons to have this joy.  Lehi understood the difference between the powers that breed faith in our lives and the powers that make us weak.  As a power, faith in God's love (v.15) leads us to "the truth" (v.26) self expression(v.23), self realization(v.21), and above all self-empowerment (v.21). As a power, addictions weaken our resolve, our desires, and our ability to self motivate.  In an effort to inspire his sons Lehi expounded where weaknesses lead:

·       to a "deep sleep" (v. 13)

·       to "the sleep of hell" (v.13) 

·       to be "bound by chains"(v. 13)

·       "the eternal gulf of misery and woe."(v.14)

·        to become blind to the "statutes and judgments of the Lord"(v.16)

·       to bitterness and hard heartedness( v. 17)

·       cursing and destruction (v.18) 

·       obscurity (v. 23)

·       rebelliousness (v 24) 

·       false accusations (v 25)

·       a denial of the power of the Spirit of God

Confucious says: He who contains himself goes seldom wrong

In contrast, Lehi implores his sons to remember the goodness that comes from self mastery.  He wants them to "be men", "be determined in one mind," "be determined in one heart," and "be united in all things" (v 21).  He wants them to be "righteous" (v 19) and enjoy the fruits of "prosperity" (v 21). He wants them to "remember"(v.12), hearken (v.12), "hear" (v.14), and "keep"(v.20) the commandments of God. Ill-bred obsessions keep us from remembering; they keep us from hearing, they teach us to let go of all that is eternal and all that would help us find unity.

Lehi spoke in verse 27 of the "power of God" within his younger son Nephi. Nephi, unlike his embittered elder brothers had chosen to exercise the power of belief, the power of faith, the power of righteousness, the power of truth, the power of the word of God,  the power of  "eternal welfare" and even the power of "the glory of God." Because of his choice to act in such a manner he retained the power of self-mastery, discernment, and decision making in critical situations: i.e. the saving of the ship, the loss of the bow, the finding of food, the direction of travel(1Nephi). 

My mother's love can be likened unto the love Lehi had for his sons. He implored them to arise from the dust. My mother implored me to make and keep a promise. Like my mother, Lehi shares his experience and seeks to help his sons understand he only wants for them to know "joy" (v 21). But before they can know this joy they must find within themselves the power of choice and take back the power that their unbridled passions had stolen from them. 

In her experience as a nurse, Mom had seen how unchecked habits can destroy our ability to discern life truths. And she saw many of her patients reclaim their love of self and find joy. Lehi's mastery of life powers had led him to state that "the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love." (v15) I understand now how God's love can not only empower us but can unite us. The power of self-love when combined with love of family creates a mighty force for good in our lives. 

Unity is a blessing that comes to those that seek self mastery.  In order for unity to exist each individual must exercise their own strength. They must "keep" within their heart a desire to serve, to love, to reach out and include others. They must seek the powers that strengthen. No one can force unity upon another. Unity comes first from self mastery. 

Lehi wanted his sons to know that addictions and unbridled passions separate us. He wanted them to understand that in order for them to become "men' they needed to put their fears aside and exercise faith. He understood that self-mastery unites us, but only when we are free from the powers of habits that bind. He understood that faith in a loving, all powerful, and selfless God brings the best kind of power into our life, the power of eternal joy. 

those (families) of the Fourth Generation (Helaman 13: 9-17)

Four Generations of Happiness

Sociologists have long studied the relationship between family tradition and family stability. Traditions can best be described as how a family does things, over and over again: dinner table, play, holidays, respect, diet, entertainment, etc.

Traditions can be compared to the strengthening of heart muscle. When we do a certain exercise over and over with a purpose, we build strength; when we let heart muscle sit, we get atrophy that eventually leads to disease and death. Just like the exercising of the heart muscle, family traditions can build strength of family unity, or they can lead to family atrophy. The direction and strength of a family depends on the strength and purpose of family traditions.

In recent years I have spent a great deal of time and energy doing genealogical research. Family history has given me a perspective on my traditions that I simply would not have otherwise gleaned. In one of my four (grandparents) lines, I have seen a distinct correlation between traditions and the happiness of my generation.

Paternal Grandfather: Me. My father. My grandfather. My grandfather's father - In this line of my past, the tradition of education has steered my family and me. So important was the idea of education that the legacy of where it all began has been told with great passion.

I. Generation One :

Like many families near the end of the 19th century, our family depended on agriculture to survive. My great grandfather had migrated with four of his brothers from Ontario, Canada to South Dakota, where in 1884 he homesteaded so that he could received his U.S. citizenship. After a time he returned to Michigan where he purchased a home in Chandler Township. Chandler Township was

important to him because it promised the best education for his children. My grandfather and his two surviving sisters walked 3 miles from the family farm to Pinnebog until graduating from 8th grade. High School graduation followed four

years later in the town of Bad Axe, some 20 miles away. In order for the children to attend, Grandfather rented a house in Bad Axe where my Great Grandmother stayed with them through the school year. On holidays she would bring the children back to Kinde by train (10 Mile) where their Dad would meet

them to drive another 7 1/2 miles by carriage. All three of my Great Grandparents children then went on to become the first citizens of the township to graduate from college.

PINNEBOG STORE

II. Generation Two:

My Grandfather graduated with a degree in English in 1923 from the University of Michigan while his two sisters graduated with teaching degrees from a college in western Michigan.

My grandmother attended school through

the 8th grade and then stayed at home for two years helping her

family on the farm. Her grandparents and parents served on the school boards of their local county. So badly did she want a high school education that she worked for a family by the name of Percy McMullen. The McMullen's who welcomed her into their home for four years in exchange for

housekeeping chores, lived in Bad Axe. While there she served as editor of the High School newspaper, and met my grandfather who was working as her English Teacher.

Even though she was not able to attend college, she did not let this subvert her thirst for knowledge. She organized and ran a county women's society for higher education. This society would meet regularly to discuss various educational topics. She also was very politically rooted to her community.

III. Generation Three:

My grandfather's children (all 4) continued the tradition by graduation from Michigan State University, all with great sacrifice and cost. My father and Uncle got through with help from the GI Bill. My two aunts saved and sacrificed to help with the costs.

IV Generation Four:

My own education experience has not been without difficulty or sacrifice. After caring for the needs of my large family, I did distant learning and finally graduated at the age of 49 from Ellis University

(an on-line university).

MyDr.Brother honored our long-standing family tradition regarding education by receiving his Doctorate this past spring. He is the first member of our family to receive the advanced Doctorate degree. His own example has set precedence and his son is on track to soon follow. I am certain that if you asked, the drive and determination of our four generational traditions played a big part in his personal motivational drive.

This family history gives good illustration to the importance of family tradition with regards to education. In my mother's family she and her sister were the first to graduate from college. This too came with great sacrifice.

Errant Attitudes

In addition, it was in my mother's line that I saw a clear line of tradition in regards to the pain of divorce and the attitudes it brings. In doing my research, I was able to go back four generations to my g grandfather's father who died at the young age of 23, leaving his wife with 3 children under the age of four and one in utero. After his father's passing, my g grandfather was the oldest and only son and became used to being the man of the house. When his mother remarried some 10 years later, he was nearly 15. He did not take to his step-father (the new man of the house) and left off on his own to ride the rails and discover the world. He was the first in a long family to divorce and actually was married 3 times( to my knowledge.) From his generation down all of the families have divorced, including my own parents.

Why is this important?

Because I saw the clear correlation to attitude, security, and past traditions of belief, I chose to choose differently. When my own family faced difficulties, I purposely chose to find a way to hang in there. I recognized the difficulties that divorce leaves and the legacy of pain. I studied the problem, read the experts scientific statistics, and rather than give in to the pain, I found strength and faith in my Savior's atonement.

I learned to change my own families traditions and create stronger more secure attitudes.

A Mother's Faith

With my mother came her families introduction to Christianity. Her grandmother taught her of faith and was the first to take her to church. Later she continued this faith through the study of scripture and the practice of changing wrongs that errant family traditions can bring. She became the first in her family to forgo alcohol and set her children on a path of clear thinking. For my mother's family line, our faith in Jesus Christ has become a strong and lasting family tradition.

Civil War and Family

My husband's family has four generation patterns as well:

His g grandfather was one of ten brotherswho fought in the Civil War. Five of the brothers died.

Four were injured, and one deserted so that he could care for his large family after his wife passed.

Okefenokee Swamp

He hid out in the Okefenokee Swamp until he was certain he was safe from being tried for desertion. The fourth generation in this family was my husband's father. He was the first to be rid of the fear and the negative feelings the association with the Civil War brought.

Prophets teach to warn us of traditions that destroy us. Wicked traditions weaken families. Strong traditions strengthen us and guide us into happiness.

What traditions do your families have that strengthen one another? that weaken one another? that weaken society? What changes has technology brought that have changed your family traditions?

Words and Phrases

vs 9 they shall be smitten - actually if a civilization lives in wicked tradition for a very long time, the Lord does not need to do anything, they will bring the sword, the famine and the pestilence upon themselves. A war of such proportions to regard is the Civil War. You could equate the slave trade to this: The south suffered sword, pestilence, and famine as a result.

vs 10 those of the fourth generation: think about this for a moment... why four? Why because we cannot link to anymore than that? Unless we live longer lives, it is the fourth generation that becomes the oldest living in our family. The example, the principles, and the morals that their lives represent sets the basis for their entire family to follow. If there are weak traditions, there will be weak families. And if there are strong traditions there are strong families, but it takes four generations for it to completely manifest itself.

vs 11 repent and return unto the Lord your God... God's way is the only way to correct wicked traditions. God's way is the only way to engage a strength beyond our own.

vs 12..woe unto this great city... people make up families, and families make up cities. When family traditions go awry, cities eventually go awry with them. The family is the building block of our civilization.

vs 13 if it were not for the righteous? what do the righteous do? they pick up after the ill mannered. They restore joy where hatred runs rampid. They give perspective. They do good. They bring hope when there is little. They serve as God's standard. When there is no standard, there is not hope.

vs 16 wo be unto all the cities ..because of the wickedness in them... wo. wo. wo. when I think of this word I think of riding my mare. When I wanted her to slow down I would say "Wo.. Girl.." or turn .. "wo.. Girl. "Wo is a word used to slow us down, to stop and think about what we are doing in our lives? What are the traditions (old and new) that might cause God to say to us "Wo... unto all the cities" all the families.. ?

vs 17 a curse shall come ... curses comes when people are not looking. Curses are like disease. When in my kitchen I fail to clean up my sink, my countertop, or my cutting board, a curse will come. It will be in the form of germs. If I do not watch and clean my counter-top my family could receive the curse of Strep, or something worse. Curses follow those who do not follow the rules of nature. Spiritual curses follow those who do not follow the rules of God and the Universe.