those whom he loves (Helaman 15: 1-17)

What is it that makes you feel secure? How do you define love?

Children know that a direct correlation exists between discipline and love. They know the best way to say I love you is to give discipline for errant behavior.

A mother was busy cooking dinner when her young daughter pulled on her pants.

“Mommy, I hit Molly.”

“Okay sweetie, Mommy’s cooking dinner now,” came the reply.

“But , Mommy I hit Molly.”

“Well that’s nice honey. What did you need? “

Finally a third attempt caught her mother’s attention.

“But Mommy, I hit Molly. I need to be punished?”

What was Molly after? What was her mother not giving her that she needed to remind her three times that she had hit her friend? What kept the mother from giving her daughter the love she wanted and craved? How do you define love? How do you define discipline? Are they the same?

I know that parents are busy and distracted. But discipline teaches much more than good behavior. Discipline is a form of love that helps build bridges of communication between parents and children. Which would you choose, to be ignored and receive no discipline or to receive discipline and know that you are loved? Discipline helps guide us. It helps us know that someone cares enough about us to keep us safe, to bring security to our chaotic world.

Words and Phrases

Vs 1 except ye shall repent – repent is another way of saying come back to me. Come find the love I have for you. Accept the punishment for your mistakes and use it to help you improve your life.
Vs 3 hath he chastened them because he loves them – Show me a happy child and I will show you a structure of discipline. Why? Because the child does not have to worry about what is wrong or right. The structure acts as a sure guide. If they choose wrong they will suffer the consequences that loving parents have put in place to keep them from hurting themselves.

Vs 5 they do walk circumspectly before God – this means they walk around God carefully considering their actions, their words, their deeds, their behavior. They walk with measured steps.

– faith brings a new beginning. New hope, new heart. Faith helps us renew our lives with strength from God.

Vs 9 they fear to sin – buried their weapons of war. Set in place a plan to keep themselves from ever finding themselves in sin or (separated from their God).

Vs 10 because of their firmness – they are able to stay their course..

Vs 11 dwindle in unbelief – Why do we dwindle in unbelief.. because when we don’t believe we don’t have a plan.. and we hang around. We dwindle… When we believe.. we have a plan. We have a goal. We have action and a course.

Vs 12 the Lord shall be merciful to them – whenever we give heed to the Lord’s discipline we are understanding his mercy

Vs 13 be numbered among his sheep - when we are of his sheep, we are assured his love. We are assured his security, his protection, his plan, his structure for our life.

Family Law: Fight or Famine (Helaman 11:1-17)

Disclaimer (I do not intend to minimize the seriousness nor the misfortune of others by comparing famine to the discipline of a child. The scriptures are meant to be likened to our lives. I have never known the pain or anguish of a true famine, (and hope I never will) but I do understand it as a principle of discipline in the form of the removal of privilege. )Famines come from many reasons. This set of verse describes the famine as a means of discipline to help us remember our God, the creator of the earth and bestower of earthly and spiritual blessings.

In our home we have a rather opinionated teen-age boy. He likes to speak his mind and often finds that this brings him into conflict with family rules and parental wishes. When he ventures off path and finds that he has spoken disrespectfully, harshly, or has refused to accept the consequences of his choices, his father and I have discovered that the best method to help him understand our love, is to remove from him that which he most cherishes. (IPod, computer, television etc.) Why does this method work? Because it causes him to reflect upon his behavior (what he did wrong and why others are upset with his behavior) and how he can best turn the situation around (how he can change). It takes the power struggle away from the parents and puts the power to choose back into his hands. He will be given back his possessions after he has pondered the problem, considered an appropriate solution, and waited a determined amount of time.

Just like Nephi learned as he tried to teach the people of God’s love, we have learned that showing our son great "signs" of our love (buying him things that entertain) or performing "miracles" (doing something that astonishes him), or showing forth our great "knowledge" (by knowing of his whereabouts and behavior through networking), or speaking to him with our words (tends to bring on arguing) just does not work. It tends to make him act more insecure and seemingly feel less loved.

Finally I learned the law of famine. When our son breaks a house rule, when he speaks with disdain, or acts impulsively, we don’t preach, we don’t argue, we don’t fight, we merely remove a privilege(our chosen famine). The removal of privileges is based on known family law. We do not listen to his excuses. We do not allow him to manipulate himself between the two of us.

This alone helps to slow him down and consider his actions. This alone causes him to consider his parent’s position and feelings, and the inappropriateness of his behavior. At first glance, famine seems like a harsh way to discipline, but it is a way that causes God’s children to seriously reflect upon the why’s, the how’s, and the what went wrongs? This method helps to change the paths of those who are headed in the wrong direction.

Let’s Look at Nephi’s history as he tried to teach the people

1.

1. He went and he taught

2. He failed at this so he went home and prayed in his garden

3. He passionately poured out his heart so that he touched the hearts of those that heard. (He was pleading for help from God)

4. He shows them a sign

5. He shows them a miracle

6. He removed himself

7. He removed their blessings

Thinking of a problem in my home.

1. I teach my young children

2. A problem arises so I withdraw within myself and to prayer (I don’t know how to help my family)

3. I plead with God in prayer for help. I might be overheard but if I am not, my countenance would be readable.

4. My Family wants to understand what has me so uptight that I can’t allow them to have a little fun… watch an R rated movie, etc..

5. I try to explain by showing them a sign of God’s love

6. They think I am power hungry and an argument ensues. The conflict increases

7. I withdraw even more and leave them to their fighting.

8. Finally I become a parent and assume my leadership role and stand up to your children by removing a privilege from them.

9. They respect my role as parent and acknowledge their mistakes.. they change their paths and find happiness. We hug and make up. :)

What brings happiness? Obedience to God’s laws. What brings us back to God’s laws? A dearth of food, of love, of association with what we hold dear?

In the many years of raising our children, I have noted that indulgence brings fighting and famine brings repentance. I could list several examples. If you will take time to observe it, this is widespread phenomenon of human nature. As soon as someone gets a new toy, they tend to believe that the old rules no longer apply. I know of several teens who lose their driving privileges on the first day they get their license.

Questions:

What is it about our body and soul that causes us to be able to remember God when we face famine, but forget him when we face fighting?

What are the patterns of discipline within this chapter for helping us know how to teach our children?

How did God and Nephi approach the problem of trying to teach God’s children?

When the people were indulged and not required to give anything back, what were the results?

Why does fighting lead us to forget about survival and concentrate solely upon destruction of our enemy(an ultimately our soul)?

Why does famine lead us to concentrate on our survival (an ultimately our soul)?

As parents we can learn from this example. Indulgence brings on conflict and selfishness. Responsibility brings on the blessings of learning how to use the power God has given us.

Words and Phrases

vs 1 contentions did increase: why? b/c of the inability to hear the word of God. The people saw it, they witnessed the miracles, but they did not hear it. We often don't listen when we have other things to entertain us.

vs 4 do not let ... be destroyed by the sword. - why? because by the sword you die in anger. If you die by famine, at least you have pondered and had time to repent. Nephi wants to buy them time. He has figured out that a famine will kill many but not in the same state of mind that a war does.

vs 5 became sore by famine - I was shocked at the photos that I found as I searched for a photo for my post. It made me sick and made me realize that this is not to be taken lightly. Famine is a serious calamity that weather it is brought on by natural circumstances or a loving God who wants us to turn again unto him, it is not to be mocked or made fun of. I even shrink that I have compared it to the circumstances of my son. Famine is a most hideous way to die. We all need food to survive. But we need God's spiritual guidance to live life eternal.

vs 6 in the more wicked parts of the land - at first this statement seems prejudice, but if you consider that the wicked would not have prepared for this day by having food stored away, they would not have cherished food that would nurture but food that was rich and fattening, they would have lived from day to day and not planned wisely, they would have found the lusts of their eyes more desirable than the sharing of food or giving selfless aid to others. The wicked would be found alone in their struggles, while the more righteous would band together to help one another. They would be organized and prepared. Hence the death of the more wicked in a time of famine would be a natural consequence of circumstance.

vs 7 remember the words of Nephi - they have been given a second chance to remember God's love and the words of prophet who spoke truth to them.

vs 8 lest all thy words be fulfilled.... - It is possible to turn things around. Repentance puts us back on the right path. Repentance changes things. Repentance causes us to have a change of heart that helps us to see, feel, and believe differently.

vs 9 when he saw the people had repented - he again petitioned God. He asked for blessings from heaven. He asks that the people recognize God's love and this third sign they understand.

vs 10 swept away the band of Gadianton - so great was their repentance that they eradicate the evil and bring on the good. They understand God's spirit of love and how the selfish band of robbers has no place if the famine is to be turned around. The famine was really in their hearts. Until the Robbers were gone, the famine of their hearts could not be repaired.

vs 15 If this people repent - When I have problems, I consider how I have gone astray... I consider how I have not done what the Lord has asked of me. I repent before I ask for blessings. I give thanks. Sometimes I am blind to what I need to repent of. Sometimes I need God to gently remind me by the consequences of my actions.

vs 17 rain should fall upon the earth - why do people not like rain. I love rain.. I love the blessings of rain. I love the sound of rain, and the wind that accompanies it. I love to be part of the life that ensues after the rain. Rain is needed for life. Rain nurtures, cleanses, replenishes, washes, etc... Rain brings us so much. I believe it is most appreciated by those who do not have it.

Records of Every Kind: Helaman 3: 14-18

Helaman 3: 14-18

Our family has always loved sports. Our Actuary-Dad has taught the children to enjoy baseball from the perspective of numbers. They learned what RBI, ERA, and the W/ L columns of the NBL standings meant long before they really understood the rules of the game. Each child (when we lived in Clevleand) had a Daddy-date to a monthly baseball game. While there, their father would not only share the sights, smells, tastes, and sounds of the ballpark with them, but teach them how to score a game. The wonderful thing about scoring a baseball game correctly, is that when you look back at this one sheet of paper, you can see the entire game. Just a few marks on a piece of paper help a skilled scorer recall the power of key plays and relive the emotions of a winning inning.

My husband cherishes his scoring cards not only because they help him recall every detail of each game, but because they help him remember each of our children at different moments of their growing up years. Isn't it wonderful how records help us recall our lives? Isn't it wonderful how the keeping of good records helps us want to recall our lives? One of life's greatest joys is a memory cherished.

The Nephites kept records: on war, arguments, political disputes, religious preaching, prophecies, their industry of shipbuilding, what they shipped (captain's logs), the building of temples, places of worship, prisons, and the news headlines of those who chose to do "wickedly". (vs 14) These records served many purposes one of which was to keep them strong and aware of their standing.

I've noticed that most humans are apt to want to keep good records when we are doing well, and poor records when life isn't going quite the way we would hope. When we begin to slip in our behaviors, the ability to keep accurate records slips and the story line somehow becomes skewed.

Case in Point: I have watched my GuitarGuy mature and grow as a preteen in the game of golf. This was reflected well when he returned from playing golf with his father and sister and said, "I got a 54 and I did a very good job of keeping an accurate score." I congratulated him on his ability to practice his integrity. It has been something that his past golf scores have not reflected.

When you look at it, the Nephite story doesn't sound too very different from today's news headlines. Nor from the many different things that we keep records of.

My Lacrosse-Guy son is a professional accountant and understands very well the critical nature of an accounting firm's integrity. He and I have discussed the practices of larger firms and how many of them forget to consider the consequences of their actions.

I am reminded of an accounting firm that was recently held in world acclaim for their accounting practices.(Anderson) Once they began to allow a bit of "transgression" (arrogance, pride, etc )into their work, lives, and daily routine, the records began to slip. Finally the complany slipped out of existence. The Nephites slip out existence also. Why?

As I read these short verses I was struck with the correlation between their record keeping and their decline as a people.

Vs 1 - 43 rd year - no contention (a little pride) records kept

vs 2 - 44th-45th - no contention records kept

vs 3 46th - much contention so that people left Zarahemla took their records with them. ?

vs 13 - 46th year.. many records kept..

vs 15 many books and many records of every kind kept chiefly by the Nephites.

vs 16 records were handed down from one generation to another... until what?

vs 16 until they

1. fell into transgression...

2. they were murdered

3. they were plundered and hunted

4. they were driven forth and scattered

5. they were no more called Nephites but became wild and ferocious.

What came first their lost desire to keep accurate records or their inability to remain true to their covenants with God? How important is record keeping in the life of a family? Why would it be important for a family to have records that remind them of good times and happy memories? Why does the prophet of the Lord command us to keep journals? Where do we learn the most when we write our records, or when we read over our records at a distant date?

Some of the benefits I believe record bring are:

1. Truth- Numbers don't lie. Numerical records tell stories of their own. Data is an invaluable perspective.

2. Integrity. When people know that records are being kept they are less apt to tell "fish stories".

3. Perspective.. Records bring good perspective in our lives. They help us understand the many different facets of our lives on different levels, and from different view points. Numerical, artistic, emotional, attendance, etc.

4. Balance : Records help us maintain our balance as we forge forward into unchartered waters. If we are unsure about something and records have been kept we can weigh the difference between the record and our current situation

5. Emotion: Record keeping provides a private place to express ones emotions in such as way as to not divulge private information or hurt others feelings. It can always be erased if need be

6. Good Feelings: Records keeping helps us relive good and happy moments of our lives.

7. Disputes: Record Keeping helps dissolve disputes

8. Discipline: The act of record keeping helps us learn the art of mental, emotional, and intelectual discipline.

9. Morality: Record keeping helps us see the moral behavior that is or is not present in an activity. We may have been too caught up in the energy of an activity to realize exactly where it was leading us. By taking time to recall it is made much clearer.

10. Accomplishments: Record keeping not only keeps tracks of our accomplishments but encourages the continuation of accomplishments. When we realize that we receive good kudos for jobs well done we are more likely to want to continue on this path.

11 Standards - Record keeping tends to raise the bar on standards. People who know that "someone will know (weather it be parent, child or authority)will usually choose a higher road.

One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is the keeping of a child's life accomplishments. This acts as a guiding post on their pathway to success and a reminder of where they have been.

A rod of Iron

note the rod railing on the left of the photo

1 Nephi 8: 17-38

I have had times in my life when I have had to hold on tightly to a rod of iron. Once, when I was walking atop Stone Mountain where the incline became steep and the surface slippery with rocks and leaves, I welcomed a iron rod fence. Also when I visited N.Y. City and toured the Empire State Building a rod of iron encircled me and kept me safe.

Rods are often used to straighten. Rods of Iron are known for their strength and surety of purpose. Still there are many different definitions of the term rod...

A Rod can mean: a thin straight bar, a wand, a staff, a slender shoot growing from a tree or bush, a stick used for caning or flogging, a fishing pole, a linear measure, (5 1/2 yards) or (160th acre), (25.29 sq miles), a pistol, a light-sensitive cell found in the eye, steal rides on freight trains, to rule someone or something with strict control or harshly,

Which definition do you believe fit best in Lehi's dream? It is a dream. It is meant for metaphorical interpretation. If it were my dream, I wonder what definition would best suit me?

A famous proverb from the old testament that comes to mind:

Spare the rod and spoil the child has often been interpreted to mean that if we don't physically punish the child we spoil their personality development.

But when you consider that a rod can also mean "the word of God" or a strict pathway of discipline, or something to hold onto, and then it takes on a less harsh meaning. If parents spare the rod, they tend not to teach or discipline with the Word of God. I like this interpretation best.

The rest of Lehi's dream revolves around his discovery and understanding of the rod of iron that he sees alongside the river of water (being interpreted filthiness or disconnect with God).

(Words and Phrases)

they would not come unto me (vs. 18) I remember when my children were young and learning to think for themselves. We went through periods where they would not mind me. This became very concerning for me because I worried what might happen if we were out in public and I called to them to protect them from danger (a car, dog, etc). What would happen to them if they did not know how to listen to my voice of love and discipline? I worked really hard to teach them the skill of obedient listening. When I read this, I think of how important it is to teach your young children to be obedient. And then to love them and call to them often so that they might come with the hope of your love. How can you save a child's life or protect them when they refuse to listen to voices of warning? Lehi is warning his sons, he is beckoning them, and he is pleading with them. He knows that they are in danger for they are standing to close to the river of water.

I beheld a rod of iron (vs.19) - As a parent I can feel Lehi's distress. He is calling to his sons and they are refusing to listen. They do not see the danger. They ignore the distress in their father's voice. I imagine that Lehi, desperate for them to come to him, confused as to why they do not see and desire the pure sweetness of the fruit, he looks for a way to save them. What does he see? A rod of iron. Where is it? along side the river. Where does it lead? To the tree of life. What does this mean? That God in his wisdom placed a way (a rod) by which we can hold onto as we travel along side the river of life. That if we follow it, it will lead us along a narrow path, to the tree of life.

strait and narrow path (vs. 20) I am reminded of how large the field was (the world) with its many choices. I am reminded how spacious (encompassing) the world is. But there is only one tree of life. If we are to have this tree of life we must follow the narrow path. With every choice we choose either to walk toward the tree of life, or toward the spacious field.

The irony here is that many people believe there is greater freedom within the spacious field. Many equate the multitude of choice with freedom. Freedom comes not from having many choices but rather from making the choice that will lead you to your goal and destination of desire. We have to first know what we want before we can make the right choice. Every choice leads you down a path. Is it the path you want to travel?

pressing forward (vs. 21) What does this mean? These people seem to want to know the truth. They are pressing... pressure. effort. desirous to find the pathway of truth. Pressing means of great importance and actively involved. So if these people were pressing forward they were actively seeking to find the straight and narrow pathway. But the question is... not were they on the path but what were they doing to stay on the path? Remember the iron rod that God put next to the river and along side the path? How many held to the iron rod to help them along their way?

as if they were ashamed (vs. 25) What amazes me here is that these people have worked hard to find their way to this tree of life. They have walked along a narrow path, held to an iron rod, tasted of the sweetest fruit, and now they are embarrassed? Why do people become ashamed for doing and feeling something so good? Why do we feel ashamed for doing what is right. What part of us makes it hard for us to feel comfortable with love, goodness, cleanliness, and hope? Is it because once they reached the tree and partook of the fruit they let go of the rod of iron (the word of God)? Is man so arrogant that they believe that once we have obtained our prize we no longer have need of discipline, of correctness? How great is our need to be part of a crowd?

it stood as it were in the air (vs. 26) Where was the foundation of this great and spacious building? What did it stand for? What does it stand for? Where does it find its strength? As a building it (to me) represents man's ability to build, construct, educate, think, discover, ponder, create, and do all things of their own strength. This arrogance of man does not teach that we should remember the spiritual foundation of our soul. In stead it mocks anything that does not applaud the strength of man.

pointing their fingers (vs. 27) I think of how we always cast blame on someone other than ourself? When things go wrong we are quick to point the finger away from ourself? When things go right we are quick to point the finger toward ourself. When others do not join us in our "pride" it is easy to point a finger of scorn. To blame. to accuse. to label and find fault. It is easy to put others in categories and forget to see and feel of God's love for them. When we cannot have what others have, do we point with scorn?

because of those that were scoffing at them (vs. 28) - I wonder how often I have listened to the words of scoff and scorn? How often have I wanted to feel of the pride of the world and feel that I belonged in the world? When do I most often listen to these quiet murmurings within me? When I allow media to lead my decisions. When I am lonely, angry, tired, hungry, or worn down. When I forget to remember to serve others. When I forget to learn and put God's word in my life. When I find myself in times of trouble. When I separate myself from God's love? When I lower my defenses and allow the world to cave in around me. That is the way of the world. It does not build us up. It does not strengthen or fortify so that we can continue on in life. It wants most to beat us down so that they (others) can beat us out.

press their way forward continually holding fast (vs. 30) Rather than listening to the words of scorn, I can choose to press (move with action and purpose) forward toward the fruit that God has prepared for me. I can hold fast to the iron rod. I realize that there are times in my life when I will press forward one hand after another and then there are times when I will merely hold fast to the rod. I will merely find place and stay there until the mists of darkness quite overtaking me, until I find strength again.

the feeling of a tender parent (vs. 37) Am I a tender parent? Do I exhort my children to repentance? Do I love them enough to help them want to live the gospel and find hope in God's love? Do I act tenderly toward my children or do I press upon them? I fear for them as Lehi feared for his children. I feel hope for them and am grateful for the blessings they bring to me through the choices they have made. I am grateful to have children and a family and often reflect on how different my life would be without my children.

Do I hope that the Lord will have mercy on my children? Do I hope for their reconciliation with God and their ability to find Joy? Yes.

I think that is it funny that Lehi used the words exhort and tender in the same sentence. When I exhort I usually am very passionate that my tender feelings do not come across tenderly.

All I want is for my children to find joy in their choices. To use the iron rod (God's word) as a barometer in their life? I too have dreams that God sends to my subconscious mind to warn, teach and help me find the answers to my family’s problems. I believe that Lehi's dream is one that we all can have. A dream for all of our family to find joy in the love of God by living His word and following the path to the Living Tree. I believe that we all have the ability to share the blessings of having partaken of God's fruit and that this fruit is the kind that does not perish, but gives us eternal hope in the realization of our gifts and abilities.

I truly love the rod of iron. For me it is not a fishing rod, it is not a branch on a tree, it is not gun, or flogging stick. For me the rod of iron is something that I can use every day to measure my distance to God's tree of life. It can help me find my way spiritually by helping me realize that I don't have to "heed" the words of scorn, I don't have to be ashamed, or embarrassed for the choice I made to walk differently from the world. I don't have to belong to a building of great choice. I only have to make the choice to hold to God's iron rod and to press forward upon this rod until I taste of the sweetness of His love.