Genesis 23: A burying place made sure

Recently while sitting on the beach, near the pilings of the pier, I per chance to witness a rather private affair. A grandmother and her grandchildren had gathered to disperse the ashes of her late husband. At first I did not understand what was unfolding before me. I was reading my book and wanting very much to give them their privacy I looked up only occasionally, but when the grandfather's ashes flew back into his grand daughters face, into her eyes, and mouth, their privacy was lost. For the Granddaughter laughed out loud and yelled... "I got the last hug." And then they were off, casually walking down the beach.

Abraham mourns the death of Sarah

This experience prompted me to think allot about how and where we bury our dead. Once they have passed on do we treat them as if they are gone forever from our lives? Or do we treat them in accordance to our belief in eternal life?  I thought about why an entire chapter was devoted to Sarah's burial place?  Why did Abraham insist on paying for the land on which he and Sarah would be interred?
I wondered how how we treat our dead affects our role in our  families life?  About how what we do in this life affects the communities of both the living and the dead. For the dead are in a season "wherein there can be no labor performed" (Alma 34:33) and they therefore become dependent upon the respect given to them by their living.







I discovered these  important truths

I. Integrity
This chapter is as much about Abraham's integrity toward his fellowman and God as it is about securing a burial place for Sarah. The children of Heth tried to bestow the gift of a sepulcher on Abraham. It was a subject given "in the audience of the people."

Ephron sells a cave to Abraham for Sara's burial 

• In the choice of they sepulchers bury thy dead (vs 6) 
•  Nay, the field I give I thee. (vs 11) 

 Even though Abraham thought of himself as a "stranger and a sojourner"(vs5) among the people of Hebron, they loved and admired Abraham and called him "a mighty prince."(vs 6) Abraham had opportunity to exercise his power to dominion. He could have had what he wanted and needed for free. No one would dismiss a man of his stature in his time of grief. But Abraham knew who he was and he knew the importance of integrity while conducting business, especially the business of eternal life.

Integrity is an eternal characteristic. Consider how Abraham's entire life focus within the book of Genesis is about eternal life. If he truly believes that he and Sarah are married for all of eternity then he what he does for her body in this life, will be recognized in the next life. He would have to answer not only to God but to Sarah.  Abraham understood how we practice integrity in this life affects not only the example we leave others, but also paves the way for our eternal happiness.


In addition, he understood the importance of securing a burial place for Sarah as a means of honoring her and her family, but also to "make sure" a burial place for himself. There could be no mistake after his death where he would be buried. By securing this transaction with the power of social custom, honor and integrity he was securing Sarah's and his resting place. For if he owned the land (and it was not a gift) no dispute could arise after his passing that would jeopardize his choice of where and by whom he would be buried. ( remember he had other wives)

The importance of this transaction is reiterated at the end of the chapter in verse 20, "and the field, and the cave that is therein, we made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a burying place by the sons of Heth."

II. Understanding Death and the Eternal Nature of Family 


Our culture fears death. When Abraham chose to purchase the land, and honor Sarah, he was teaching us about eternal life.  Death is one of life's facts. We are indeed born to live and eventually die. Our culture does not want us to speak of it, yet it comes as surely as the tree which falls in the forest. Just as the tree does not know his own time, we are not to know our time. But if we are prepared we should have not fear.

Could it be that Ephron and the other sons of Heth wanted to bestow this gift on Abraham out of pity? or out of their own fear of death? Or out of their desire to honor a man of his spiritual stature? It really does not matter why? What does matter is that Abraham did not cower to their persistence. He knew his death would come and he faced it by purchasing his burial place. His actions of honor while still grieving for Sarah speak of his belief in the eternal nature of family.

I remember when I was about thirty my Grandfather Conkey took me on a walk through the Presbyterian cemetery where his father and mother had been buried. I was enjoying myself  until I walked past the gravestones of my (living)Grandfather and Grandmother Conkey. They stood next to me as I read their names, their stone engravings and the year of their birth. The year of their death had been left to be inscribed upon their passing. I was mortified that they had chosen to think of death while they were yet alive.
Yet they had and they had done it with such grace and style that it set my own fears at rest. I believe this chapter does the same. It makes us consider how Abraham treated the subject of death. How he revered and honored Sarah by purchasing the cave of their burial and in doing so made us aware of his belief in the eternal nature of the family. If Abraham did not believe he would rise again, or see Sarah after this life, why was it so important to him to secure a safe burial place, a sure burial place, a place where he too could rest next to her.

In speaking to a few people about this chapter I learned that most have dismissed it. They have not considered the many truths that lie hidden here. Sarah died. Abraham buried her. Our lives can be easily summed up as easily as many of us want to sum up this chapter. We were born, we lived, we died. But life, eternal life, has much more to offer us. When we consider the eternal nature of man and we consider how Abraham's actions played to his belief in the eternal life, we understand the role that he played in teaching his culture about death, about eternal families, and about how we treat those we do business with, and those with whom we share eternal ties of love. When we understand these basic principals we understand just how important the role of respect for our dead, integrity and our belief in eternal life in the lives of the children of Israel play in setting an example for us to follow.

A well of water - the Lord's living water Gen 21:19, 25

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.John 4:14

In a recent trip to New Orleans  my husband and I took a ghost tour that guided us through much of the French Quarter. The tour guide shared animated stories of death and destruction, the necessary prerequisites for ghosts.  It turns out that one of our ghosts was the cause of the 1788 fire that destroyed nearly 80% of the city.

The story of  the New Orleans fire gave me reason for pause, for within this story comes the reason for the cities “well(s) of water.” But as it turns out New Orleans wells did not provide the promise of life or  protection from death that Spanish rule hoped they would. They in fact proved quite the opposite. 

As a prominent government leader and resident of the French Quarter Army Treasurer Don Vincente Jose Nunez had on a religious alter within a second story bedroom of his home, a large number of lit candles, and was prayerfully observing Good Friday when his servant called him to lunch. While downstairs the wind blew the curtains into the room full of candles causing fire to rapidly spread throughout the room.  Aware of the fire he ran 3 doors down to the church to sound the town fire bells. Within minutes the Cedar framed house hewn from the nearby swamps and used to construct almost all of New Orleans exploded. The resin that served to make cedar impervious to water also made it highly flammable.  The tragedy of the story is that the fire bells used to warn the town of just such a danger had been wrapped in silence in observation of Good Friday. With no warning and the match-light qualities of the homes, the fire consumed, within five hours, 856 of the 1100 structures.

To prevent such a catastrophic event from ever happening again, Spain decreed that all new structures must be built of brick, have iron railed balconies and courtyards that contained an inner well of water. So it is that every home within the reconstructed New Orleans had a well whereby water could be drawn for the use of cooking, drinking, bathing and most importantly putting out fire. 

The full tragedy of the fire comes not from the destruction of the town but in its rebirth. The twenty-eight years between 1789 and 1817 represented years of reconstruction. No one could have conceived that the wells of water that were placed to prevent death and destruction would prove to be the cause of the cities massive deaths. As stagnant bodies of water they  became the breeding grounds for mosquitoes, the transporter of Yellow Fever.  No records exist that allow the cataloging of death before 1817 but between the years of 1817-1905 more than "41,000 people died from the scourge of yellow fever in New Orleans." 

Not all wells of water bring life. Not all wells bring truth. As an Egyptian raised on the mighty Nile, Hagar knew the important relationship between water and life. Having been cast into the wilderness of the desert, Hagar believes what her life has taught her that without water she and her son will perish. 

Hagar stood but a short distance from a well of water that promised to save her and Ishmael and could not see it. What was Hagar's well of life? The water? Or was it her ability to hear and obey the voice of the Lord? What is it that helps us to see "the well of life" that God has provided for us? What is that we must do to help us open our eyes and find the truth that will not only fill our physical needs but also lead us into eternal life? 
  
The Lord had made a promise to her that her son would become "a nation." (21:18) Within the Lord's promise came the well of living water. Indeed the well of living water for Hagar was the covenant and promises that she and Ishmael had made with Lord when they partook of the Abrahamic covenant. Hagar's life was not spared by the existence of a well of water but by her faith in the Lord who directed her to "open her eyes" and see the well of water. 

Alone and forsaken Hagar could not see the promise of the Lord. Why? Why do most of us not see what God has promised us? In her most dire state Hagar was like most of us when life turns against us. She was angry and: 

         1. Separated (14) from all the family she had ever known.
         2. Grief stricken and left to wander in the wilderness (14).
         3. Without water (15) or food
         4. Alone (15) separated herself further from Ishmael
         5. Distraught and overwhelmed by her circumstances(16) waiting to die.
         6. Fearful (17).
         7. Given to prayer of desperation and weeping (16 & 17)

From the talk by Aileen H. Clyde I found these words about truth, living water, and Hagar. 

Consider the Savior’s image when he spoke of the necessity of discerning truth. He likens knowing the truth to receiving “living water”; that is, water that is fit to drink: pure, running water. He tells the woman at the well: “If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water” (John 4:10). 

When I think of lifesaving water and of wells, I also think of Hagar (see Gen. 21:14–20). Hers is a complicated family story. She is forced alone into the wilderness of Beersheba with her young son, Ishmael. In due time the water and bread she has taken with her into the desert are consumed, and thirst and hunger overwhelm her and her little boy. Because she cannot bear to hear the cries of her son, the record tells us that she puts him in a shaded place and goes “a good way off” (Gen. 21:16). There, she lifts up her voice and weeps. In response, an angel of God speaks comfort to her and reminds her that she is not forsaken. Then, we are told, “God opened her eyes, and shesaw a well of water” (Gen. 21:19; emphasis added). We, like Hagar, are required to see “a well of water.” We, like the woman at the well, must ask of the Lord: “Give me this water, that I thirst not” (John 4:15). This is the purpose of Relief Society. It teaches us as daughters of God how to see and how to ask for that which we need of the Lord so that we need not thirst again. Remember the Prophet Joseph’s promise to us that through this society we “shall rejoice, and knowledge and intelligence shall flow.”

Hagar's life was saved and restored because of her faith in the Lord. The Lord offers each of us a well of living water. We can choose to drink of it and live. But water abounds in our life, how do we choose wisely which water will save us? How do we learn to know the living water of truth and let it be our guide?


The Spanish believed that the answer to their survival relied on the physical existence of water within a close proximity to danger.  They believed their source of water would alone aide in their survival. They could not see that their "water" had become their most imminent danger. Stagnant, separate, preserved, and unable to be cleansed, their wells served as breeding grounds for the mosquito and ironically their own death. 


Living water flows with life, action, and truth. It inspires and leads us to share and interact with one another. With each drink we are renewed and refreshed. It cannot be preserved but must be shared. Living water delivers us not only by offering our bodies its required need but by feeding our soul with its pure, clean principals. Hagar found living water when she prayed and wept unto the Lord. She again found living water when she opened her eyes to the promises that the Lord had made to her and Ishmael. Her living water filled her when she once again served herself and her son by returning unto him and sharing her knowledge not only of the well but of the angels message. She accepted the Lord's gift of love and allowed his promise to be fulfilled. Later the same well that served to save them from death becomes the means for their promised inheritance of Beersheba. Did Abraham know how this would work out when he turned Hagar and his son into the wilderness? I don't know.  But he had faith that the Lord would provide. He had faith that the Lord would keep his promise unto his seed that came through Ishmael.

This story portrays the difficulties that Hagar and Ishmael had to face before remembering the Lord's promise to them. Their life was hard. They faced challenges that at times seemed overwhelming, but when they remembered the gospel principals of prayer, obedience, service, etc. their life became filled with promise. In the 2008 General Conference Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge of the First Quorum of the Seventy spoke to the choice that we have when facing life's challenges. He says,

 The Lord’s way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel. "There is an opposition in all things," (2 Nephi 2:11.) everywhere, for everyone. Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple. We have only two choices. (Moroni 7:15-17.) We can either follow the Lord and be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy, or we can go some other way, any other way, whatever other way, and go it alone—without His support, without His power, without guidance, in darkness, turmoil, doubt, grief, and despair. And I ask, which way is easier?

2008 October General Conference, The Way

In addition a talk entitled the Abundant Life helps us understand that our living water comes from the acceptance of the spiritual. Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve talks about some of the characteristics that will help us recognize the Lord's promise in our lives.

 Today, I want to list a few of the characteristics that the happiest people I know have in common. They are qualities that can transform ordinary existence into a life of excitement and abundance. First, they drink deeply of living waters. Do you seek peace of mind? Drink deeply of living waters. Do you seek forgiveness? Peace? Understanding? Joy? Drink deeply of living waters. The abundant life is a spiritual life. Too many sit at the banquet table of the gospel of Jesus Christ and merely nibble at the feast placed before them. They go through the motions-attending their meetings perhaps, glancing at scriptures, repeating familiar prayers-but their hearts are far away. If they are honest, they would admit to being more interested in the latest neighborhood rumors, stock market trends, and their favorite TV show than they are in the supernal wonders and sweet ministerings of the Holy Spirit. Do you wish to partake of this living water and experience that divine well springing up within you to everlasting life? Then be not afraid. Believe with all your hearts. Develop an unshakable faith in the Son of God. Let your hearts reach out in earnest prayer. Fill your minds with knowledge of Him. Forsake your weaknesses. Walk in holiness and harmony with the commandments. Drink deeply of the living waters of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

2006 April General Conference, The Abundant Life

As I think about water and its significance in our lives, I am filled with the idea that water alone is not enough to save us. In the town of New Orleans their stagnant water protected them from fire but invited an unseen death.  Hagar's ability to live depended not on drinking the water but on finding the water. The idea that God has made promises to me and that I must not despair but must drink daily of his living water through service, obedience, inspiration, joy, kindness, understanding, and through accepting all the blessings the gospel brings. When we partake of the Lord's covenants, his promise to us becomes our well of living water. And it flows within us. It cleanses us. It renews us and brings us Joy. 

The second death (Helaman 14: 11-19)

The

Second Death

Wildlife abounds near my mother's home. Rabbits, snakes, ducks, deer, egrets, herons, fiddler crabs, mice, and songbird have all given story to our lives. This story is about one songbird that once lived midst the tall shade pines.

The long-leaf pine trees that now tower some forty-fifty feet over my mother's beautiful butterfly garden once stood a mere ten-fifteen feet tall. Their narrow branches bowed low while their floppy needles teased the crabgrass that spotted our yard. When startled birds flitted from man's intrusive presence, the tree's low branches made it possible to view the birds with ease.

Let me begin my story by filling in a few details. I grew up as the third child, only girl, and youngest to two brothers who loved to hunt, fish, blow things up, and well- do things that boys tend to do. Not having a sister, and not wanting to feel left out, I learned to adapt.

I adapted by doing what I saw them do. Fish, hunt, hike, motorbike, build, camp, etc. Harry, (my step-father) was an avid hunter. He took my oldest brother (Don had passed over already) hunting every Saturday. In fact- it was his love of hunting that brought us to South Carolina in the first place as South Carolina boasts the longest hunting season of any state and has great fishing as well.

Because hunting was part of our family culture, and I was somewhat of a "tom-boy", it was not viewed unusual for me to ask for and receive a "Daisy Model 96 BB Gun with lever action" for my twelfth Christmas. I suppose I believed I would hunt at the hunting camp and learn to love nature as my brother did. Harry set up an empty milk jug in the back yard and I began my target practice. I was given strict instructions to always shoot away from the house.

I obviously did not follow these instructions because at some point an errant BB made its way through our large glass window leaving a perfect circular pyramid of cut glass at its exit. Only a perfectly round projectile could do this. I argued my case, but the evidence left an ever-telling mark of an errant BB and a disobedient marksman.

With a fair amount of practice my aim began to find its mark. Soon I could hit not only the empty milk jug (that served to catch my BBs) but also soda cans that I lined up along the picnic table. I next moved to a hanging target and gradually moved my distant back steadying my aim with each pace.

A neighbor girl of my age had also received a BB gun. She and I decided we might attempt to hunt in the woods together. Before I set out to hunt what? (I'm not sure that I put much thought into it) Thinking back on it, I believe that I really just wanted to outdo my friend. I wanted to be the better hunter, the most experienced, and the one with the best shot. Wanting to prepare and get some practice of my own, I scoped my bead on the backyard wildlife.

Perched on a branch just above and across the drainage ditch sat a songbird. He sang a most beautiful song. But my heart did not hear it. My eye was trained on the bead at the end of my gun and all I could think of us was pulling the trigger. I really didn't expect to hit my target. I foolishly believed I would go right or left and the bird would get away. It was after all just a game. A game where I was the powerful hunter, and the songbird was the target.

GREUZE - Young Girl Weeping for her dead bird 1759

My success horrified me and sent me into temporary shock. Dumbfounded with my ability to forever silence such beauty, I felt temporarily paralyzed. Then I heard its limp body hit the ground across the creek from our yard. My senses shook me into a bewildered walk. What would I do? What could I do? Somewhere in the confused mind, I mused, "Maybe I missed and he's just been stunned?"

I crossed the creek by circling back to the street and entering my neighbor's back yard. There on the cold January ground sat the lifeless bird. It's song forever silenced by my selfish game. Tears welled inside of me. "How could I be so foolish?" "How could I be so prideful?" "How could I be so blind as to the sanctity of life and God's gift of nature?" I cried out loud. Finally I set about to act responsibly.

I returned home to find a shovel, a shoebox, and some newspaper. After burying its tiny body in my back yard,( I gave a funeral service complete with song) I retired my BB gun to the cobwebs of our garage. I never picked it up again. I never took aim again. I never wanted to be the best aim, or the best hunter, or have anything to do with robbing the earth of God's gifts of life.

For weeks I despised myself. For weeks I loathed what I had done. Once I saw my friend out hunting alone along the grassy marshland. I saw her take aim at a beautiful heron that stalked its prey in the mudflats. I saw its beak plow into pluff mud, never to return its slender silhouetted form to our skyline. She too felt the shame and retired her desire to hunt. She too felt the shame.

How had society wrong us? How had we been duped into believing that we (as young women) could act like young men? Why had there been such role reversals? Who was I? What was my role? Was killing for sport something that was ingrained in me? My reaction yelled NO.

Nature does not allow for mistakes. I errantly mistook my ability to aim with precision as a game of power and pleasure and it cost a songbird its life. It's burden lay heavy on my heart. Oh that I would have had someone to guide me and warn me of my actions. Oh that I had listened to wisdom's call, and the love for virtue, for good that called me to consider my actions.

Nature is unforgiving. Nothing I could do would bring the bird's song back to life. Nothing I could do would alleviate the pain, the shame, the sorrow, and the regret I felt. Nothing would comfort me. My mistake seemed permanent. And it was. For the Mocking Bird, it was. But for me I learned a great lesson as I began a process of repentance.

Repentance is a process. The first step in understanding repentance is to believe that our mistakes can be forgiven. I did not say made right because some things cannot be undone, but they can be forgiven. In order to believe that they can be forgiven we must first believe in a power greater than nature, greater than heaven and earth, and great enough to change our hearts for good.

The tragedy of this story is not that the songbird was killed, but that I took its life for sport. If I had continued on without regret, without shame or sorrow, my life might have been overshadowed by the darkness of my choice. I would have been unable to see my pride; my arrogance, my foolishness, and my life path would have been one of great tragedy. My spirit would have been at risk for a second death.

We all make mistakes. Some of our mistakes are more serious than others. Some of us cause us to silence the beautiful songs that God has given us. These songs were meant to help us learn to listen to his prophets. All of us face the reality that without the gift of repentance we face daily the risk of the second death. It is a sobering thought and one that we can fix by repenting…….daily.

Words and Phrases

Vs 11 hear my words… we cannot understand the nature or the need of repentance if we do not listen to the prophets who teach us of it.

Vs 11 know the conditions of repentance – who, what, when, where, why, how

Vs 12 know of the coming of Jesus Christ – repentance was made possible because of the coming of Jesus Christ upon the earth. We need first to believe in his name

Vs 13. Believing leads to repentance which leads to a remission (pardoning) because of what Jesus did for us through the atonement. (merits)

Vs 15 the resurrection of the dead – will birds be resurrected? Not sure, but I hope to be because I believe in God's name.

Vs 15 brought into the presence of the Lord – only those of us who have repented and have been given pardon for our sins will stand white and clean before God

Vs 16 Jesus Christ will die so that 1. Resurrection of mankind (birds?) 2 redeemeth us all from the first death that cut us off from the presence of God. When we accept Jesus Christ and believe on his name, we have the right to receive redemption for our sins and heal the affects of the first (spiritual) death.

Vs 17.back into the presence of the Lord – we must believe and we must repent… repay. Our pentances… choose to correct our mistakes.

Why? Because we are in charge of our actions, our course, and it is as if God has given us the wheel and is waiting to see where we will steer ourselves? Back home or back to our sins.

Vs 18. A second death – comes to those who "repenteth not". And they are forbidden to bask in the light of the Savior's love. They are forbidden because they willfully chose to sin.

Vs 18. They are cut off s to the things pertaining to righteousness. – Only those who love righteousness can understand, enjoy and be part of righteousness.

We must learn to love righteousness and change the behavior that causes us to be separated from God's love. We must learn to listen to the songs of nature that call us to a higher voice. A still voice. A small voice that lives within each of us and calmly speaks to us of truth.

The real tragedy is that when we don't listen to the guidance of the prophets, we have to pay the price of our sins. God forgave me for my sin, but a bird still lost its life and I had to go down a path of darkness that I would (to this day) rather not have gone.