2 Nephi 21: 13-32 Self-Mastery, Finding Unity

2 Nephi 21: 13-32   Self Empowerment and finding unity in all things

Once while visiting my mother's home, Mom invited me to sit and talk for a bit.  Her tone was somber but cool; direct but polite; strong but tender.  I was already married and with two small children so when she extended the invitation, I wondered what it could possibly concern:  health, legal issues, family?  But my mother, out of love for my young family and me, wanted to discuss something of greater concern – the power of drug and alcohol addiction.

As a Psych Nurse and Director of the Drug and Alcohol Unit at our local hospital she was all to aware of the dangers of drug and alcohol. She wanted to make sure I shared in her knowledge. She had both primary and secondary experience of how alcohol and drugs and a myriad of other addictions - by undermining the strength of unity and community- ruin lives and families.  In her profession she had helped de-tox patients from every corner of society.  She shared with me how alcoholism affects all social economic levels, destroys brain cells, lowers birth weights, robs one of nutrition and becomes an unquenchable thirst that destroys our God given power to choose. 

addictions rob us of choice

I respectfully  sat and I listened. I was touched by her sincerity, her determination to speak her mind, and her depth of emotion. As she shared how addictions are often unintentional inheritances, I could feel her love and concern for me.   I did not feel bothered by her desire to instill limits upon me - but rather, I felt her love for me.  She made me promise that I would never drink alcohol, under any circumstance.  I would be allowed to use her as an excuse if ever I felt hounded. I promised and then assured her that her fears were unfounded. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints I faithfully practiced the spiritual and dietary law known as the “Word of Wisdom.”

The recognition of God's love brings us self-mastery. 

My declaration of faith did not comfort her. Her life experience had taught her that religious belief, while good, might not be enough to keep me safe.  Again she asked me to promise. So I nodded my head in assurance. Little did I know that the day would indeed come when faith-based belief would not deter social and business associates.  But when told of my respect for and promise to my mother they ceded their purpose and left me to my choice. The sincere love of a parent, a mother, can be a strong power in our lives. 

As I pondered Lehi's words, I realized that his talk with his sons, like my mother's to me, was meant to empower. My mother’s words left with a strong sense of self. And even more important, I gained the gift of family unity. I knew that if I would make wise choices, my mother’s strength would always be with me. If ever I felt alone or lost the power to choose, I had only to remember her experience to help me regain perspective. 

Addictions lead us into cycles that become hard to break

Lehi recognized that his sons actions were caught within a rut; they were not in control of their lives, their emotions, their goals or desires. He implores them to "awake"(v13) and "shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound." He wants them to "arise from the dust" and come forth out of their-self inflicted "obscurity.(v.23)"

Lehi's plea helped me to recognize that life is filled with varied and diverse powers that want to destroy our power to choose.  Lehi wanted his sons to discard the powers that bind them and recognize how the “power of God” gives us our true freedom.

When we engage the powers of God we find self. God's love is a selfless gift. In contrast, when we allow any of these other powers to control us, we unwittingly find ourselves surrounded by "the sleep of hell" or caught by the "awful chains" (v.13) that bind. A few of these might be: anger, jealousy, hardened hearts, bad habits, the need for “power over others”(v.25), alcohol, drugs, the need to win or be right etc.

Lehi understood that the powers of God bring truth(v.26) unity and self mastery(v. 15,20).  For when we are in control of our lives, we have the power of choice. Once free to make choice we are then able to choose unity. Once "united in all things" we are able to find strength beyond our own, and a safety that comes from “the arms of his love.” (v.15)

Addictions weaken our resolve to self motivate

Having tasted of the Lord's "glory", Lehi only wanted his sons to have this joy.  Lehi understood the difference between the powers that breed faith in our lives and the powers that make us weak.  As a power, faith in God's love (v.15) leads us to "the truth" (v.26) self expression(v.23), self realization(v.21), and above all self-empowerment (v.21). As a power, addictions weaken our resolve, our desires, and our ability to self motivate.  In an effort to inspire his sons Lehi expounded where weaknesses lead:

·       to a "deep sleep" (v. 13)

·       to "the sleep of hell" (v.13) 

·       to be "bound by chains"(v. 13)

·       "the eternal gulf of misery and woe."(v.14)

·        to become blind to the "statutes and judgments of the Lord"(v.16)

·       to bitterness and hard heartedness( v. 17)

·       cursing and destruction (v.18) 

·       obscurity (v. 23)

·       rebelliousness (v 24) 

·       false accusations (v 25)

·       a denial of the power of the Spirit of God

Confucious says: He who contains himself goes seldom wrong

In contrast, Lehi implores his sons to remember the goodness that comes from self mastery.  He wants them to "be men", "be determined in one mind," "be determined in one heart," and "be united in all things" (v 21).  He wants them to be "righteous" (v 19) and enjoy the fruits of "prosperity" (v 21). He wants them to "remember"(v.12), hearken (v.12), "hear" (v.14), and "keep"(v.20) the commandments of God. Ill-bred obsessions keep us from remembering; they keep us from hearing, they teach us to let go of all that is eternal and all that would help us find unity.

Lehi spoke in verse 27 of the "power of God" within his younger son Nephi. Nephi, unlike his embittered elder brothers had chosen to exercise the power of belief, the power of faith, the power of righteousness, the power of truth, the power of the word of God,  the power of  "eternal welfare" and even the power of "the glory of God." Because of his choice to act in such a manner he retained the power of self-mastery, discernment, and decision making in critical situations: i.e. the saving of the ship, the loss of the bow, the finding of food, the direction of travel(1Nephi). 

My mother's love can be likened unto the love Lehi had for his sons. He implored them to arise from the dust. My mother implored me to make and keep a promise. Like my mother, Lehi shares his experience and seeks to help his sons understand he only wants for them to know "joy" (v 21). But before they can know this joy they must find within themselves the power of choice and take back the power that their unbridled passions had stolen from them. 

In her experience as a nurse, Mom had seen how unchecked habits can destroy our ability to discern life truths. And she saw many of her patients reclaim their love of self and find joy. Lehi's mastery of life powers had led him to state that "the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love." (v15) I understand now how God's love can not only empower us but can unite us. The power of self-love when combined with love of family creates a mighty force for good in our lives. 

Unity is a blessing that comes to those that seek self mastery.  In order for unity to exist each individual must exercise their own strength. They must "keep" within their heart a desire to serve, to love, to reach out and include others. They must seek the powers that strengthen. No one can force unity upon another. Unity comes first from self mastery. 

Lehi wanted his sons to know that addictions and unbridled passions separate us. He wanted them to understand that in order for them to become "men' they needed to put their fears aside and exercise faith. He understood that self-mastery unites us, but only when we are free from the powers of habits that bind. He understood that faith in a loving, all powerful, and selfless God brings the best kind of power into our life, the power of eternal joy. 

2 Nephi 1: 8-32 "Inheritance: the security of thy seed"

Inheritance: gifts that pass from one generation to another

Christine Conkey reading the Beatitudes from the Bible 

In the early 1990's when I would visit my grandmother Christine at her Michigan farmhouse she would give me small nicknacks from her kitchen. I have a small tan and white cream cow, a gold trimmed 50th anniversary cup, and a few of her favorite recipes.  Well into her eighties she realized that the time for collecting life's tangible things had passed and she began to distribute them as gifts to her grandchildren.  Likewise, my grandfather Hal gave me a few of his smaller art prints and had me sign my name to the back of one of his larger pieces, to be given to me after his passing. These small tributes were but a small part of my Conkey Family inheritance. As I consider these heirlooms in my life, I realize that the greatest gifts I have receive from my grandparents are not tangible things.  I have found my greatest inheritance in their words, their love for family, their way of life and their faith in one another and God. 

Inheritance has long been associated with the "passing on of properties, titles, debts, rights, and obligations upon the death an individual." (m-w.com) Inheritance is meant to help the next generation obtain the necessary security to move forward with their life. For most of the world this security is wrapped around monetary wealth: i.e land and property, art, furniture, keepsakes. But as I read and reread the first chapter of 2 Nephi and considered what was it that Lehi wanted to convey, I began to see his vision of a worthy inheritance to his children. 

Lehi was mindful of his imminent death. He says, "a few more days and I will go the way of all the earth" (v14) He is preoccupied with what gift he will give them. And before he begins into this he recounts the great gifts that the Lord has bestowed on his family: history(v 1), mercies(v 2), warnings (v 3) and even the physical land of promise (v 3). And as if to help soften the blow of what he cannot give them he reminds them of how all of the wealth and land and social position which they had obtained in Jerusalem was gone. (v 4) He reminds them of how fleeting these "gifts" are and he begins to teach them and remind them of a greater gift, the gift of eternal life itself.  

Hal Conkey singing his rendition of "How Great Thou Art" 

My own grandparents gave me a greater gift. As I watch my grandfather sing his favorite song, "How Great Thou Art," or see my grandmother reading "The Beatitudes"I am reminded of my greatest Conkey Family gifts of inheritance: self expression, good books, a love of learning, a desire to do good,  love for one another, a love of poetry, and above all their faith in a God capable of the love, the strength, the vision, and insight to give a  security which material possessions could not bring.

Lehi begins in verse 5 to reflect on the great gift of the promised land the Lord had given them through bringing them here. Here in this new land they would not face captivity from other nations, they would not even  have to worry about the other nations knowing about their existence. They would not have to worry about the land being nutritionally depleted but in stead it would help them to "prosper"(v9). In deed if they would keep their desires and focus on their faith  they were assured prosperity and protection.

I remember my grandmother speaking of Scotland (she was 100% Scottish) like she had been raised there. Only 2 generations from it's shore, her paternal grandparents and her maternal g grandparents had all been born in Scotland. The stories she told reverberated with love for a distant culture but mostly for respect for the blessings the new Canadian land had brought to her family. Here in this new land the Conkey's were free from political turmoil, religious constraints, and farming blights.  The 1848 potato famine hit Scotland as well. In addition the 1840's saw many highlanders evicted and forced into immigration. I remember my grandmother singing songs of the highlands and recalling her grandfathers love of the Argyle Highlands. She had such a happy and merry voice that carried me with her across the pond to where my fathers plowed and my mothers made fire.

Lehi continues to recount the outcome of what could happen if his posterity would ever forget the mercies of the Lord in their life. What he wants is for them to remember both the "statutes and judgments" (v 16) of the Lord. Like any good organization Lehi's family understood the basis of rules and consequences. His discourse is merely trying to remind his children that the Lord's goodness comes to those who remember his statutes and give respect to his judgments. He wants his children to keep their prosperity in perspective with what is true prosperity and from where all goodness comes. 

My grandmother always looked for the good. I remember a few conversations with her where she might have been overcome with worry for struggling family members, but she always remembered the good their spirits brought to the family. And she managed to keep my grandfather's high ideas down to earth and help him realize the most important things in life revolved around family. He loved to write and always wanted to write the next great novel, but family commitments, financial obligations, and the tedium of day to day life kept him grounded. In the end, the greatest story he ever wrote was upon the hearts of his children and grandchildren. It was the love story that he and my grandmother shared as they worked together to "secure their seed" with the goodness of their inheritance.

The word "inheritance" can be found 185 times in the Old Testament.  It is also found  58 times in the Book of Mormon. In my recent readings of Abraham's story of how God gave him the blessing of an eternal inheritance I was impressed with his desire to teach the next generation the necessary truths needed for eternal life. The fact that Isaac was not born to a young Sara was key. The fact that the Israelites wandered 40 years in the wilderness was key. The Lord wanted to preserve the goodness of his "inheritance", the belief that we are spiritual children of an eternal God. Lehi wants the same. My grandparents may not have understood the eternal nature of life as Lehi did, but they did believe in it and they wanted what all parents want for their offspring: goodness, happiness, and the tools to succeed.

Fiddle by Robert Shaw Guitar Linda Shaw 

Of all the tools they shared, I am reminded mostly of the mirth that my parents had for life.  In 1993 when these videos were taken grandmother was nearing her 90th near and grandfather was in his 94th year of life. And yet they were happy enough to dance around the living room and rejoice in their life. I hope that this is the legacy that I can leave my children.  An inheritance of goodness, of spiritual truth, of love, of joy, and mostly of the gift of the Holy Ghost that will help them discern between right and wrong as they navigate their own course in life. As they step out to dance their own steps around their own  living room.

2 Nephi1:1-7 brought by the hand of the Lord

Grandsons of Arthur and Margaret F. Conkey 

The year was 1842 and my Great Great Great Grandfather Arthur Conkey and his wife
Margaret Ferguson Conkey left Ireland for the new world. All of their children crossed the sea with them. All except their oldest daughter Mary and her husband John Greer, who for unknown reasons decided to stay behind.  We don't know the personal stories as to why the family chose to leave their homeland, but one letter from the Campbells (another family line settled in Ontario) shows that the prosperity of the new land came quickly to those that worked hard. (Canadian Conkey Family History A-7).
 As I read these first few verses in 2 Nephi I about Lehi's family leaving Jerusalem, I was reminded of my own Conkey family's history. I wondered how many of the circumstances might be compared?

The moving of a barn across the prairie.

Lehi begins by rehearsing (vs 1)  with his children the many wonderful blessings they received in leaving Jerusalem. We remember that many of his children rebelled and presented a not so faithful attitude at the idea of traversing so many years in the wilderness in search of the promised land. (1 Nephi). The Conkey family did not have to traverse for many years but they did have to span the waters, leave loved ones, face a land barren of civilization and modern comforts, etc.  I am certain that Arthur's vision and leadership was paramount in helping his family remember the many blessings God had bestowed upon them, especially as they faced their first winter in a new land.

I wonder how many of the children understood Arthur's vision? I wonder how many of them complained (vs 2)  and even exhibited a bit of that Irish stubbornness. We know that their eldest daughter's husband chose to keep his family in Ireland. Mary Conkey and John Greer did not travel in 1842 with Arthur to the "promised land" of Ontario. They chose to forego the uncertainties of the new world and take their chances in Ireland's rocky soil and political unrest.

In addition, Mary Ann Gourley married William Arthur Conkey (Arthur & Margaret's eldest son) while they were still in Ireland. She was one of the daughter in laws who like Lehi's daughter in laws might have complained. Her obituary tells of some of their hardships.

 "in the times when only a blanket was hung up over the entrance of the humble dwelling ot protect the inmates from the fierce blasts which whistled through the trees, and from the dreaded wolves which howled close by, she, with undaunted courage took hold and mastered her share of the toil in making a home." (Canadian Conkey's Family History) 

Lehi and Arthur would have had to remind their families of the Lord's good mercy to them. No Conkey children died in transit to the new world. No children of Lehi died (that we know of ). The Lord's hand of mercy is extended to all who listen to his counsel.

Both families chose to leave their homelands at a crucial time. We know that Lehi had spiritual warning and direction. Did Arthur too heed a spirit that moved him across the waters? Consider that Lehi's exodus came a few years prior to the destruction of Jerusalem. Arthur Conkey's exodus came but six years prior to the great potato famine that took some 750,000 Irish lives.

I have to wonder about the heartache Margaret and Arthur must have felt at leaving their eldest daughter's family behind. Mary and John Greer and their four young children did not escape the sorrow of destruction as the children of Lehi did. John at age 38, a young daughter, and a son named James did not survive the famine. After burying her husband and two young children, Mary migrated to Ontario in 1850 with her two sons John and William to tell their tale. (vs 3, 4) What joy they must have felt to be reunited with their family. What perspective their story must have given to the new Canadian Conkey's faith. (vs 4)
I wondered what moved over Arthur and Margaret to leave Ireland? Is it improbable to believe that he too felt the power of the Lord directing his family to move where his family could find prosperity, protection, and freedom? Arthur did not need to see a vision to know of the devastation he had saved his family from. The loss of grandchildren and a son in law proved newsworthy enough. I believe he was aware of God's spirit guiding him. As Presbyterian's in a dominant Catholic country, I believe they must have suffered some form of persecution. One has only to look at the history of Northern Ireland to understand the strife that still surrounds this land.  It could have been that like Lehi circumstances piled against the family and worked to drive their desire to leave?

Nephi speaks in verse 5 of a covenant with God in the obtaining of the land. He speaks of how the land is "choice about all other lands." It is to be a land for his children, and to families like the Conkey's
"who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord."

I know that my Conkey family was led by the hand of the Lord to this land. I believe the prophet Lehi when he testifies that "there shall be none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord." Though four generations have come since the coming of my father's people to this "promised land," I know that the Lord's hand is still actively guiding us. To my own father he gave the power of prayer that helped him leave his homeland and adapt to the jobs of the changing world.

When my Conkey family left Ireland in 1842 they used their faith in God and family to find direction. They were in the practice of serving God. The cemetery where the Conkey family rests lies within the churchyard of the Presbyterian church, a church that sits on land donated by the first Canadian Conkey's, Arthur and Margaret Conkey. Leaving Ireland meant exerting faith over the many fears they had to face, but somehow I believe they knew, like Lehi, that in this promised land of the Americas, "the righteous shall be blessed forever." (vs 7)

So as I read and consider how the Lord worked with Lehi to preserve his family, I am reminded of how he covenanted with Abraham so that he too would have a covenanted land. Clearly there is a connection between land and preservation of seed, between living a life filled with God's revelation and direction and finding a land where one can find prosperity through the blessings of hard work.

Genesis 23: A burying place made sure

Recently while sitting on the beach, near the pilings of the pier, I per chance to witness a rather private affair. A grandmother and her grandchildren had gathered to disperse the ashes of her late husband. At first I did not understand what was unfolding before me. I was reading my book and wanting very much to give them their privacy I looked up only occasionally, but when the grandfather's ashes flew back into his grand daughters face, into her eyes, and mouth, their privacy was lost. For the Granddaughter laughed out loud and yelled... "I got the last hug." And then they were off, casually walking down the beach.

Abraham mourns the death of Sarah

This experience prompted me to think allot about how and where we bury our dead. Once they have passed on do we treat them as if they are gone forever from our lives? Or do we treat them in accordance to our belief in eternal life?  I thought about why an entire chapter was devoted to Sarah's burial place?  Why did Abraham insist on paying for the land on which he and Sarah would be interred?
I wondered how how we treat our dead affects our role in our  families life?  About how what we do in this life affects the communities of both the living and the dead. For the dead are in a season "wherein there can be no labor performed" (Alma 34:33) and they therefore become dependent upon the respect given to them by their living.







I discovered these  important truths

I. Integrity
This chapter is as much about Abraham's integrity toward his fellowman and God as it is about securing a burial place for Sarah. The children of Heth tried to bestow the gift of a sepulcher on Abraham. It was a subject given "in the audience of the people."

Ephron sells a cave to Abraham for Sara's burial 

• In the choice of they sepulchers bury thy dead (vs 6) 
•  Nay, the field I give I thee. (vs 11) 

 Even though Abraham thought of himself as a "stranger and a sojourner"(vs5) among the people of Hebron, they loved and admired Abraham and called him "a mighty prince."(vs 6) Abraham had opportunity to exercise his power to dominion. He could have had what he wanted and needed for free. No one would dismiss a man of his stature in his time of grief. But Abraham knew who he was and he knew the importance of integrity while conducting business, especially the business of eternal life.

Integrity is an eternal characteristic. Consider how Abraham's entire life focus within the book of Genesis is about eternal life. If he truly believes that he and Sarah are married for all of eternity then he what he does for her body in this life, will be recognized in the next life. He would have to answer not only to God but to Sarah.  Abraham understood how we practice integrity in this life affects not only the example we leave others, but also paves the way for our eternal happiness.


In addition, he understood the importance of securing a burial place for Sarah as a means of honoring her and her family, but also to "make sure" a burial place for himself. There could be no mistake after his death where he would be buried. By securing this transaction with the power of social custom, honor and integrity he was securing Sarah's and his resting place. For if he owned the land (and it was not a gift) no dispute could arise after his passing that would jeopardize his choice of where and by whom he would be buried. ( remember he had other wives)

The importance of this transaction is reiterated at the end of the chapter in verse 20, "and the field, and the cave that is therein, we made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a burying place by the sons of Heth."

II. Understanding Death and the Eternal Nature of Family 


Our culture fears death. When Abraham chose to purchase the land, and honor Sarah, he was teaching us about eternal life.  Death is one of life's facts. We are indeed born to live and eventually die. Our culture does not want us to speak of it, yet it comes as surely as the tree which falls in the forest. Just as the tree does not know his own time, we are not to know our time. But if we are prepared we should have not fear.

Could it be that Ephron and the other sons of Heth wanted to bestow this gift on Abraham out of pity? or out of their own fear of death? Or out of their desire to honor a man of his spiritual stature? It really does not matter why? What does matter is that Abraham did not cower to their persistence. He knew his death would come and he faced it by purchasing his burial place. His actions of honor while still grieving for Sarah speak of his belief in the eternal nature of family.

I remember when I was about thirty my Grandfather Conkey took me on a walk through the Presbyterian cemetery where his father and mother had been buried. I was enjoying myself  until I walked past the gravestones of my (living)Grandfather and Grandmother Conkey. They stood next to me as I read their names, their stone engravings and the year of their birth. The year of their death had been left to be inscribed upon their passing. I was mortified that they had chosen to think of death while they were yet alive.
Yet they had and they had done it with such grace and style that it set my own fears at rest. I believe this chapter does the same. It makes us consider how Abraham treated the subject of death. How he revered and honored Sarah by purchasing the cave of their burial and in doing so made us aware of his belief in the eternal nature of the family. If Abraham did not believe he would rise again, or see Sarah after this life, why was it so important to him to secure a safe burial place, a sure burial place, a place where he too could rest next to her.

In speaking to a few people about this chapter I learned that most have dismissed it. They have not considered the many truths that lie hidden here. Sarah died. Abraham buried her. Our lives can be easily summed up as easily as many of us want to sum up this chapter. We were born, we lived, we died. But life, eternal life, has much more to offer us. When we consider the eternal nature of man and we consider how Abraham's actions played to his belief in the eternal life, we understand the role that he played in teaching his culture about death, about eternal families, and about how we treat those we do business with, and those with whom we share eternal ties of love. When we understand these basic principals we understand just how important the role of respect for our dead, integrity and our belief in eternal life in the lives of the children of Israel play in setting an example for us to follow.

Genesis 23: Sarah's Journey

Sarah's Journey
This chapter ends the journey of Sarah of Ur of Chaldea. Her story was one of migration. Like Sarah I have traveled around the country for family and job related reasons. This is the story of man. In doing my family research I have discovered that the need to explore and make a place for oneself on this earth is an inherent part of being human. Migration also occurs out of necessity for food, protection, shelter, but whatever the reason it has marked man's existence on this earth. In traveling on our physical journey we are often blessed with spiritual lessons. The Lord helps us face new challenges, learn new skills, understand different cultures, and overcome self made barriers.

I wanted to make this post so to make us aware of where Sarah's journey had taken her.

Beehive houses in Haran 

• 11:28 (land of nativity) 
• 11:31 - in Ur of Chaldea
• 12:4 - leaves Haran 
• 12:5 Canaan 
• 12:7 Canaan land promised 
• 12:8 Alter #1 Bethel on West Haran on East 
• 12:10 South to Egypt 
• 13:1 south from Egypt 
• 13:3 Bethel Alter #1 
• 13:12 Land of Canaan ( East West South North) all of the land is promised 
• 13:18 Palin of Mamre (Hebron) Alter # 2 
• 17:15 She changes her name from Sarai to Sarah
• 18:1, 10 Plains of Mamre 
• 20:1 Kadesh, Shur, Gerar 
• 20:15 Gerar 
• 22:2 Land of Moriah (Abraham) goes without her 
• 24 :2 Kirjatharba - Hebron